Yesterday Xander and I were driving home from town and as we were coming along towards the Erasmus Bridge I noticed this huge building… and for a second I thought, where the hell did that come from so quick!?

That’s when I realized that it was a ship at the cruise terminal.   We get a lot of cruise ships coming here into Rotterdam but I’ve never seen one that just blocked out everything behind it like this one.  I really wish I had my camera on me.

Today I was reading the news on Expatica and saw that it was actually a brand new ship! 

ROTTERDAM - The cruise ship Eurodam sailed into its home port of Rotterdam on Sunday, attracting a large crowd.

The largest passenger ship ever to be registered under a Dutch flag, the new Holland-America Line ship was built in Italy, and sailed from Southampton on Saturday. It is the 14th ship in the Holland America Line’s fleet.

Nearly 300 metres long, the ship has more than 1,000 cabins, three swimming pools, five restaurants and a casino. The Eurodam will be named by Queen Beatrix on Tuesday and will set off on its first cruise next weekend.

I wish I had my camera with me because the above photo (that I scabbed off the net) really doesn’t do the ship justice.  It’s absolutely friggin’ massive.   I’ll have to try to get some photos before it sets sail.

Oooooooh wouldn’t it be nice to be ON it though?

Some people have been asking how Bailey has felt about Pixel joining the family.   Well, in the beginning he wanted nothing to do with her, but now they are the best of friends.

In the morning when they come out of their beds they are so happy to see each other.   They roll around on the floor together, chase each other all over and sometimes find themselves fighting over toys.

There was also a disturbing porn moment where Bailey laid flat on his back while Pixel spent far too long licking his privates.  I thought about stopping the molestation but then I thought it may be some sort of odd bonding behavior so I left them alone and just tried not to look.

One thing you can never say about the Dutch is that they aren’t patriotic.  Especially when it comes to football!   This past weekend Holland lost to Russia and are out of the semi finals.

It sucks, but the Dutch milked the short ride for all it was worth.   Everywhere you looked was ORANJE (orange), which is the true color of the Netherlands, even though it is not on the flag.

The people in the above video are taking down their decorations now that Holland is no longer going to be playing.   It’s crazy though, how much some people put into it.

Personally, I’m sad that Holland is done… but I won’t miss the entire city screaming all at once.   When you aren’t actually watching the game it scares the bejesus out of you.

That’s not an exaggeration, by the way, when the Netherlands scores a goal the whole of Rotterdam screams at once, blows their horns in the car, blows off air horns and even guns I think!   I’ve nearly jumped out of my skin on a few occasions.

I will miss all the decorations though.  Even if you aren’t a football fan, or Dutch, you can’t help but get swept up in the excitement of it all.

The title means ‘I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU’,  and that is what I’ve been feeling a lot of lately.  Yeah, this is another language rant.

I feel like a coma patient who woke up and suddenly has to learn their language all over again, err… only it’s not my language.    I regretfully spent so long living in here Holland and tuning out the language that now that I want to interact and understand it frustrates me when I can’t.

For years I just avoided the language.   It was too difficult, I thought that if I learned it I would be telling Xander that I never want to leave.   There was a plethora of reasons why I avoided it, but avoid it I did and I did it well.   People around me could be speaking and I wouldn’t hear a word they said.  If the radio or TV was on I turned a deaf ear and ignored it.

I know, it was stupid… don’t ask me to explain why I felt that way.   Even I have no idea now, after the fact.

There came a point where that changed though.  I think once I realized that was here for good and that this is the language I’d be living at least part of my life in.   I had heard about Dutch classes given by the government so I went and asked to be enrolled.   I had to ask, because I am Canadian and they figure I can get by because I speak English, everyone else is forced to take them.   They went on about how they are intensive Dutch classes and I was ready, I was pumped!

Those intensive Dutch classes turned out to be lame ass, get refugees off welfare, bare minimum so they can get out to work – Dutch lessons.   UGH!  I did learn more and it really helped my confidence with speaking the language but it was nothing like I expected.   After a year I finished the course at the top of my class and moved on.

I didn’t know enough Dutch to really carry on proper conversations and I certainly didn’t know enough to work in the language… I knew just enough to get by.

That was a few years ago and between speaking English at home and a general lack of socialization with the Dutch, my skills haven’t improved that much.   Sure, I know more words and can speak more than when I was fresh out of that course but I am still far from fluent and am pitifully behind after being here for almost 9 years.

I’m sure if I was Japanese, Turkish or Moroccan I’d be fluent by now, but knowing English is a curse in a way, because it makes it easy to avoid speaking the native language when you don’t want to.

Now, I’ve reached an awkward stage.   I know quite a lot of Dutch, I can understand most of what goes on around me when I am out and about, and I can carry on small conversations with neighbours and such.   What ticks me off is that I don’t know enough to get a job working in Dutch and there are still times when I’m completely lost.   I can talk to one person without any issues, then a few minutes later try to speak to someone else and don’t seem to understand a word they say.    It frustrates me!

I can’t turn a deaf ear to the language anymore and I can’t tune it out.   I understand enough now to be irritated when I come across things I don’t know yet.   I want to learn more and understand everything that goes on around me.   I want those insignificant conversations and situations back!

For example… the other day I was out and saw a man with his son.   The kid did something cute and I wanted to make a passing comment to the man.   He knew I saw it and was looking at me and in any normal situation the passer by would say something.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say in English but was stopped in my tracks when I realized if I was going to say anything it would have to be in Dutch… and I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say to him.    So instead I gave an awkward smile and a look that tried to tell him ‘hey, I saw it, just because I’m not saying anything doesn’t mean I didn’t see how cute your kid is!’.

I want more Dutch.   I crave it.  I do try to speak it as much as possible when I am out but I need something more… and god love Xander, but trying to learn from him is a painful experience because he is too much of a perfectionist.   He won’t let me just be understood in the beginning, I need to be perfect… and that just leads to me telling him (in English) where he can stick it.    Trying to learn from him is like asking someone how to microwave a piece of pizza and then sitting through a 20 minute explanation on how to make pizza dough from scratch.   He tries, but he is completely incapable of simplifying and he just confuses me more than when I started.

I need a course, a REAL course.   One that makes you learn the language on a higher level than just learning how to ask for chicken in the supermarket.   I want to LIVE this language.   I am so flippin’ done with being a permanent tourist in this country language wise… I’m ready to be one of the locals.

My husband went to Belgium for a few hours this morning and when he came home he told me that he found a cure for my stress.  

Nice try, honey!

At the moment I am off work for a few weeks.  It sucks, and I feel like a total arsehole but I guess I need to accept my limitations.

Going back to a 40 hour week after 9 years of being a housewife, ok… might have been able to manage if it wasn’t something too busy or stressful.

Going back to a busy and stressful job after almost a decade of not having to answer to anyone?   Only if it’s part time, at most.

Going back to a 40 hour job that is stressful, busy, slightly unstructured and endlessly confusing.  — Disaster.

Yeah, I bit off more than I could chew and after five months of trying my hardest to manage, I got sick.   Not sick in the vomiting kind of way but stressed and getting physical reactions to it (headaches, anxiety, and other things I’d rather not discuss that have to do with the lower back end, that’s all I’ll say).  My huisarts (family doctor) knows my history and told me I was probably a bit ambitious to take on this kind of job full time.   I had been seeing her about some of the symptoms and as they had been going on since about April and hadn’t healed, she told me I needed some time off and to contact my company doctor.

So I did, and he agreed and now I am off until further notice.   I see him again on July 2nd and we’ll take it from there.  My work has been VERY understanding about it and seem quite keen to compromise in regards to the hours so when I’m feeling better we will talk about it and go from there.

You’re probably wondering about the title of this entry, and those of you who know me are already shaking your heads but I swear this one wasn’t my fault.  You see, my husband has been itching to get a puppy for a while.  He’s been in love with one breed in particular and has always wanted one but I had always refused because it would have been too much with the animals we already had.    I always said that once the cats were gone I would definitely consider having two dogs.

Well, since Spencer has been back there has been a tremendous change in him.  It seems that being the only cat in the house suits him and it’s like we don’t even HAVE a cat most of the time.   The hair is hardly an issue at all and he is as quiet as a mouse.  It’s quite mind boggling, really.

So, the cat issue being out of the way, and me being home… Xander got me while I was weak and I said yes.   So now we have a puppy.   Not quite sure how housebreaking, crate training, pee on the floor and one older jealous, barky and out of sorts dog is meant to help me de-stress, however.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s a cutie and I love her, but man - what was I thinking?!!   I blame Xander, I couldn’t say no to him again… especially after all the pets we’ve gotten over the years because I wanted them.

Whatever, I’ll manage somehow.  The little shit better be worth it (you can probably take that as being the puppy OR Xander, although I’m already fairly certain Xander is).  It’s not that bad really as I watch over her in the mornings and he’s home by about 1pm and takes over then so I can chill out a bit.   He knows that if he wants to have a puppy at this time he will have to take on a lot of the responsibility himself.

So anyway, let me introduce — PIXEL!

She is an 8 week old cross between a Miniature wire-haired Teckel (Dachshund / Wiener Dog) and a Chihuahua.  She’s very small with short little legs and a long little wiener body, pretty cute, I must say.

Bailey is not sure what to make of her.  At first he was scared to death of her and now he’s reached the curious stage and just crouches down with his arse in the air and tail wagging while barking his head off at her.  

To Spencer, she may as well not even exist.   He just walks around or over her to get where he is going and otherwise pretends she is not even there.