Last night in bed my husband and I had the following conversation about my birthday.
Xander: Happy Almost Birthday!!
Me: *Sigh* Only a half hour left of my youth…
Xander: Oh the daaaah-RAHMAAA!!
Me: It’s true. Tomorrow I’ll be 34, and do you know what that means? Next year I’ll be 35!
Xander: All that and you can count too? I’m so lucky…
Me: No, seriously, 35 sounds so much older than 34. When you were 19, didn’t 35 sound absolutely ancient? As long as I’m not 35 I haven’t really felt old.
Xander: Wait a minute, I will be 35 this year!! Thanks!
Me: *ignoring him* Then, do you know what comes after 35? 36! Once I hit 36 I’m on the way to 40! *Starting to feel weepy*
Xander: I hate to break it to you, but you are heading for 40 now.
Me: *Shockhorror* I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!!!!!
Xander: Um, yes you are. If you are heading for 35, you are also heading for 40.
Me: NO. I. AM. NOT. I am heading to 35, not 40, 35. Once I’m 36 I’ll be heading to 40 but right now I am heading to 35. Do you hear me? You are wrong.
Xander: I’m getting the feeling this is another one of those Tammy Logic things…
Me: No, it’s a fact. Right now I am heading up a hill towards 35. *Upward motion with hand* Once I turn 35 I’ll be at the top. Then once I turn 36 I’ll be on my dooooowwwwn towards 40. So right now I am not heading towards 40, I’m heading towards 35. You see? So when I turn 36 I will be heading to 40. Not 45, 40. Cuz when I get to the bottom I will go uphill again when I am heading to 45, which won’t be 50, it will be 45. Do you see now? *Breathlessly making up and down motion with hands* UP, Down, UP, Down.
Xander: Umm, yes. You are still heading for 40 though.
Me: *Silent while wondering if I could kill him and get out of the country before they catch me* Iamnot. *mutters*
I dunno, it makes perfect sense to me. Clearly, he is wrong.