Today my husband and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary. Like any couple we’ve had our issues… my problems settling in the Netherlands, his Lego addiction, my late night mosquito rages… but one thing that has never changed is our love for each other. Well, MY love for HIM I should say. I’m not so sure about his love for me anymore.
He worries me. Like, remember that time he scared the bejesus out of me in his sleep? or the other time? I wonder if that was a foreshadowing of things to come. I’ve also always been suspicious of his death glare… I mean, it’s not normal for your husband to look at you like he wants to kill you, right?
Then today I saw this:
Omg, where’s the dislike button?! I blame my dad, he is always up to no good! NO GOOD!
Perhaps I should start sleeping with one eye open.
It’s amazing the things you see when you look back…
Take this old photo of us, for example. See me all eyes closed and in love, kissing the man of my dreams?
Now, do you see him all eyes open and smirking? He knows something we don’t. He’s hiding something!! He has a secret plan, a plan to off me one day!
What about this one from earlier this year. Ok at first you will look at it and see a happy couple out for dinner, smiling and enjoying each other’s company… but look at his hand on that knife, and it’s pointed right at me!! Who knows what would have happened if my friends hadn’t distracted him to take this photo. They may very well have saved my life!
Call me paranoid, but I think I’m onto something here…
If you don’t hear from me sometime within the next few months, don’t bother investigating. THE HUSBAND DID IT!
Lock him up and take away his Lego. This is my dying wish…
Also see to it that he never has access to the internet, Bastogne cookies or Mona Toetjes. While you are at it, give him a prison roommate. Someone who talks a lot, preferably about sports and friends he’s never met. Please do give him a TV though, and provide him with a steady stream of Sex and the City, romantic comedies, Reality TV and anything starring Julia Roberts.
See to it that my father gets some time too, I mean he is an accessory to murder and all. Don’t let my mother visit him either, lord knows she’ll try to weasel her way into the prison every morning to make him his tea and toast.
Avenge my death, people…don’t let them get away with this! I’m counting on you.
Happy Anniversary, babe! I will love you till the day I die…