The Day My Husband Finally Got In My Pants

Breigh December 20, 2010 42

Today was laundry day and part of laundry day is wearing things you probably wouldn’t wear otherwise, so that all the stuff you do want to wear can be washed. At least that’s how it works in my house… or maybe it’s because I always put the laundry off for too long.  It could be that.

Whatever… tonight while I was making dinner my husband and I were laughing at the pants I was wearing.  A pair of my favorite stretchy 3/4 length pants that has gotten me through many many summers. They were worn a lot, because mostly everything else I tried on wouldn’t fit.  No matter how much weight I gained, they would stretch enough to fit and still be comfortable.

At one point I even took the drawstring out because even with it tied as loosely as possible, I couldn’t get the pants over my hips without untying it if I had to go to the bathroom.  I was too lazy to tie and untie it all the time, and it’s not like I needed the drawstring to hold them up.

pantsbig

I could have used that drawstring today during laundry day.

I have to admit, it felt sort of good to wear those pants again.  Not because I still like them for the same reasons, but because I needed a reminder of why I should stay on track.  The last few weeks have been a bit difficult for me, first with my gallbladder issues and surgery, then some other private issues that came up that I had to deal with.

Well, let’s just say it’s been a stressful couple of weeks… and even though I’ve lost almost 85 lbs now, one thing has not changed.  When I pass a certain level of anxiety or stress, there is only one thing I want to do.

EAT!  Eat every damn thing in sight.

Then I get pissed off that I still have those urges to eat for comfort.

Which makes me want to eat more… which makes me more pissed off… which makes me want to eat… which… you get the point.

I try not to, and most of the time I succeed. I try to just eat more of the healthy things that fit nicely into my diet but with Christmas on top of it all, it’s a bit more difficult.  There is temptation everywhere I go, people are on Facebook talking about the delicious things they have eaten, baked, or bought, the oliebollen are out everywhere I go… and I feel like I am missing out.  I know that NOT missing out on ANYTHING is what made me so hideously fat to begin with and I try to remind myself of that.  I know that there are a lot of things I’m missing out on because of my weight too, and while Christmas will be over in a week, all those things I’ve been missing out on will still be there.

I also know that there are a few very important health issues that depend on me continuing to lose weight in order to improve.  There are things I want for my life that rely on me continuing to lose this weight.  It’s SO important for my future and my happiness.

Anyway, what I mean is that I needed to wear those great big baggy pants today.  Now more than any other time I’ve been trying to lose weight, I needed to feel like I’ve changed and see some evidence of all the hard work.  Those pants gave that to me today.  By being way too big even without needing to use any of the stretch in them, by the crotch hanging down to my knees, and by hanging to my ankles when they once went just past my knees.  Those pants gave me a little more strength to get through the holiday season.

So did my husband… by climbing into the pants with me and showing me that now we can both fit into pants that I almost didn’t fit into myself at one time.

inpants

This made me laugh. In fact, we both laughed so hard that we collapsed and I knocked the towel rack behind me straight off the wall!

It’s true, you know, what they say about laughter being the best medicine. I didn’t even care that we busted the towel rack, or that we came very close to being found dead two weeks from now because we were tangled up in the same pants and couldn’t out of our tiny bathroom to find help.  All I cared about was that my husband was in my pants and that gave me more pleasure than any oliebollen ever could.

Yes, I know how dirty that sounded.

Yes honey, it’s ok if you tell all your friends I said that.

After my post about reaching 80 lbs lost and joking on Facebook about my husband getting in my pants with me, some people commented that they wanted to see some real before and after photos, as up until this point I’ve really only shown photos of my face.  That’s because photos of me before I started trying to lose weight are VERY few and far between.

I may love being behind a camera but I have never enjoyed being in front of one.  When I was over 300 lbs the thought of taking photos of myself, or worse… putting them on the internet, was my biggest nightmare.

Anyhow, I dug through my photo archives and found some photos of myself back in 2008 while I was in France.  I don’t think I had quite reached my highest weight at that point, I was probably somewhere between 280 – 300 lbs.  Tonight I had my husband shoot some quick photos of me in somewhat the same positions to try to show the difference.

80beforeafter2

80beforeafter3

Hopefully you can tell which photos are the before photos!  If you can’t… be a dear and just lie, ok?

So, here’s my plan.  Christmas is this week, and New Years Eve is the week after.  I have less than two full weeks to get through until at least the Christmas temptation is gone.  That will be one gone from the list of reasons why I’ve been struggling a little recently.  I’ve already allowed a few small indulgences, like a hot chocolate when I was out with my friend getting our nails done last week.

HOT CHRISTMAS BALLS!  After six months almost entirely sugar free, hot chocolate has never tasted so damn good!  You have no idea!

I will allow myself another small indulgence for Christmas and one for New Year, then it’s back to the grindstone.  Back on the wagon.

BALLS TO THE WALL!!!

Err, got carried away there. Sorry.

Yeah, so next time you are lazy and haven’t done your laundry in a while. Don’t worry, maybe having no clean pants will brighten your day a little too.  You never know!

42 Comments »

  1. Alison December 20, 2010 at 11:12 pm - Reply

    Congratulations Tammy! You look fantastic! You should be so proud and are such an inspiration :)

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:37 am - Reply

      Thanks Alison :) I feel very much the same way about you kicking ass in the photography dept! xo

  2. Amy December 20, 2010 at 11:14 pm - Reply

    WOW! Tammy, you look FANTASTIC. You should be very proud of yourself for being able to loose 80lbs. Keep up the good work, you are getting great results. :o)

    PS Your blog always cracks me up.

  3. Candee December 20, 2010 at 11:15 pm - Reply

    You are looking HOT!!! Damn look at you there little miss thang!! I know first hand the dedication it takes to loose that much weight and that gives me that much more respect for you and inspiration to keep going on my quest. I’m not worthy!!! Good going girl! I am so proud of you! You make me want to get out my old pants too so my hubby can get in them too ;-)

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:38 am - Reply

      Candee, you have lost even more than me girl! So I see your inspiration and see you a pat on the back! :) You should totally dig out a pair of your old pants, AND take a pic. We can start a MAN IN MY PANTS movement! haha Keep going girl, then we can go rock it on a beach together next summer!

  4. Invader_Stu December 20, 2010 at 11:17 pm - Reply

    I can really see the progress you have made. I think you’re doing great. I have to find myself control again after New Years.

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:39 am - Reply

      Thanks Stu! That’s what New Years resolutions are for :) I don’t think you’ll be the only one!

  5. Natalie December 20, 2010 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    WOW! smoke a mackerel, amazing! (don’t know where that expression came from, first thing that popped in my head lol) congratulations to you, what an incredible achievement, you look HOT! what an inspiration you are! and breaking the towel rail, too funny. Laughter is so totally the best medicine! :-)

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:40 am - Reply

      Smoke a mackerel haha I’ve never heard that one before. It must be a British thing! Thanks Natalie :)

  6. Avitable December 20, 2010 at 11:37 pm - Reply

    That is fantastic. I know what you mean about stress – I am the same way, and even after the surgery, I still can easily eat thousands of calories in sweets if I’m super stressed.

    Don’t worry over the holidays – everyone gains weight over the holidays and you’ll be back on the track again in January very easily.

    I’m so impressed/proud! Nice job. :)

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:41 am - Reply

      Adam, that’s one thing that worried me when I my docs were trying to get me to have the surgery. I wondered if it would really prevent me from eating badly if I REALLY wanted to. I hope things are still going well for you in that department though! If you need a weight loss buddy I’m here :)

  7. Melissa D December 20, 2010 at 11:51 pm - Reply

    Wow Tammy, you look great, and that pic is so funny, I can just picture you and Xander in the bathroom busting up laughing. Way to go. Keep it up.

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:42 am - Reply

      Yeah it wasn’t easy to stay standing once the laughing started! Thanks Melissa :)

  8. Suzy December 20, 2010 at 11:54 pm - Reply

    You’re looking great! Honest and inspirational. :)
    Really excited for you!

    …and LOL’d at the idea of you all having to call for help to get out of the bathroom–and trying to explain the shared pants. :D

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:43 am - Reply

      Well, we’d have the benefit of living in the Netherlands. I’m sure they’ve seen people stranded sharing a pair of pants before haha

  9. Paule December 21, 2010 at 12:00 am - Reply

    Jesus christ I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that last photo of you! That is AMAZING! OMG. I just cannot believe the difference. Oh so well done to you girl. War was flabergasted too!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:44 am - Reply

      Thanks Paule :) Means a lot coming from you, Miss Fitness! xoxo

  10. Paule December 21, 2010 at 12:01 am - Reply

    Check out those boobs and waistline!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:44 am - Reply

      HAHA Dude, I know! I got a rack now! WOOT!

  11. April December 21, 2010 at 12:03 am - Reply

    Tee hee hee! I have been giggling at the title to this post for at least 20 min. I am with you about the struggle during this time. But I am soo also with you about nailing our fat ‘s balls to the wall come new years. Hugs and support from Purmerend! Balls!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:45 am - Reply

      Glad I was able to give you a little giggle :) You’re right, I think everyone struggles at this time of year. Bring on January! :)

  12. Saphireena December 21, 2010 at 12:10 am - Reply

    Wow, just wow Tammy. I keep on returning to the picture of you and Xander together and you’re so well proportioned as a couple too! I’m so happy for you, and keep up the good work!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:47 am - Reply

      Thanks Andrea :) It’s nice that I can actually wear his shirts and stuff now. It felt SO shitty to be so much bigger than my husband. It really made me feel a lot less feminine and womanly. We are a good fit now :)

  13. Kara December 21, 2010 at 12:30 am - Reply

    THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

    You are unbelievable and such a mentor to me.

    I think I am going to laugh with the image of you and your hubby being found dead in your apartment inside one pair of pants for a while!! Sounds like a good CSI episode!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:50 am - Reply

      *Hugs* Kara! I’ve so enjoyed having you as a weight loss buddy. You are an inspiration to me as well. I hope if I ever have children that mine are as happy and that I can be even half the mom you are :) xoxo

  14. Sonya December 21, 2010 at 9:23 am - Reply

    You can totally see the transformation and you are doing such an amazing job. I’m going to keep my pants too to see if Edwin and I can do the same thing..lol I’m so proud of you : )

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:51 am - Reply

      Omg, you must! You can join the MAN IN MY PANTS movement with me and Candee haha Thanks Sonya xoxo

  15. Penny December 21, 2010 at 10:24 am - Reply

    You are rocking it for sure! The shirt is a bit baggy though, maybe it’s time to stop wearing it? LOL

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:52 am - Reply

      No way I love that shirt! haha My bestie gave it to me! :) xoxo

  16. Ash December 21, 2010 at 11:37 am - Reply

    Holy moley! You look fantastic! Having been there myself I know how hard it is to keep it up – you are doing great! Here’s to many many more instances of Xander getting in your pants :0

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:53 am - Reply

      Thanks Ash :) I think only someone who has had a lot of weight to lose at some point could really understand what it is like. I’m glad to have people like that around. I’m pretty sure Xander hopes for many more instances of that as well! haha

  17. Alison December 21, 2010 at 11:53 am - Reply

    Wow! That’s fantastic! What a great confidence boost, too. It’s helpful sometimes to be reminded of just how much progress you’ve made. Congrats and good luck!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:55 am - Reply

      Yeah, it really does help to remind myself of where I started. Especially during those times when I am feeling like NOTHING is changing. I hate those times. hehe Thanks Alison :)

  18. Lori December 21, 2010 at 2:36 pm - Reply

    Oh.My.God. You look amazing. You are gorgeous. Not that you weren’t before, but the bone structure in your face is really coming out. The picture with you and Zander together in your pants really shows it. (My daughter is home from university and was walking by as I opened up your website….the heading was a real wtf for her!)
    You are doing so well. The holidays are rough for everyone. Hang in there.

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:55 am - Reply

      Aww thanks Lori :) You are making me blush hehe Sorry I made your daughter think I’m a big perv! hahaha

      • Lori December 22, 2010 at 4:30 pm - Reply

        You shouldn’t be blushing-you should be really, really proud of yourself. But I know, you’re a Maritimer and don’t handle compliments well. It’s a Canadian thing.
        As to my daughter, she’s at that age where the only possible individuals who might remotely consider having/referring to sex (or anything connected to it) are those under the age of 21. I LOVE having her realize other wise!
        You should thing about changing your picture next to your comments (don’t know what it is called, I am so not techy–it doesn’t even look like you anymore! (See I’m from “Upper Canada, as a lady in Charlottetown once told me, I have no problem expressing my opinions!) Seriously though, girl, you need to show off those cheekbones!!

  19. Jules December 21, 2010 at 3:26 pm - Reply

    Congrats! That’s amazing! Good luck next year!

    • Breigh December 22, 2010 at 8:56 am - Reply

      Thanks Jules :)

  20. Monica Van Maanen December 22, 2010 at 5:07 pm - Reply

    Fantastic, you look absolutely fantastic!

  21. Gaby January 1, 2011 at 11:41 pm - Reply

    You look absolutely wonderful. Keep up your great work, Tammy. You rock!

  22. Shirley September 21, 2011 at 5:36 am - Reply

    Tammy, I recently found your blog and laughed a lot for your sense of humor. As for the pics, your smile was brighter in the old pics and the body … man, you are gorgeous!

    Please stay on the right track. I expect to see more wonderful posts here.

    Cheers from Indonesia

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