My War on Asia

Breigh February 23, 2011 12

Living in a flat in Rotterdam brings with it a lot of interesting interactions with neighbours.  We have been living in this flat for over ten years and while we do have some really awesome neighbours, we have also had some total jerkoffs, inconsiderate twats (who we totally busted) and royal pains in the ass.

There’s one neighbour that I’ve decided I’m going to declare war with.  I’m not quite sure how, but I’ve been trying to hatch a plan over the last two or three years and I’m sure I’ll come up with something good any minute now.

They are evil!

Ok, they may not be evil, I’m not really sure as I’ve never actually met them.  Here is what I know…

  1. They have made me really angry.
  2. They are Asian.
  3. They like the sun.
  4. … and cigarettes.
  5. They have made me really REALLY angry.
  6. They don’t like trees.

You see, I spend a lot of time on my balcony in spring and summer.  I quite like the view from there and have been known to snap a few photos from time to time.  Like this one…

Full Bloom

I took this photo in 2005, and this is what I had to say at the time.

Every spring this tree seems to explode overnight, it’s so beautiful! Such a shame it lasts such a short time though

This was always my favorite part of spring.  Looking out behind my house to see this beautiful tree in bloom!  On nights like last night it would even appear to change color, looking more pink or red than usual.

I LOVED THIS TREE.  It made life pretty.

The people who owned that garden had it set up quite beautifully with a lot of plants and a nice seating area etc.  I love looking over their garden while I sat out on my balcony.  They moved though, and then ‘The Asians’ moved in.  I call them that because I don’t know anything else about them.

Except that they hate trees.

… and they love cigarettes.

Well, this is what stands there now…

SONY DSC

Yeah, that’s it.  A stump that gets freshly chainsawed every year.  Can you believe it?!

I know it’s their garden and they can do what they want with it, but seriously?   They removed anything even remotely beautiful, filled the entire garden with tiles and put nothing out there.

Wait, that’s a lie… in the summer they put out a lawn chair and a big can to use as an ashtray, because that’s the only time they ever go out there is to smoke.  Oh, and to chainsaw the tree.

These people really give new meaning to PAVED PARADISE AND PUT UP A PARKING LOT.  Fuckers.

So that’s what I see now when I sit on my balcony in the spring… a stump… and for that I hate them and am declaring war on Asia.

Not the real Asia, cuz I’d lose… just the little Asia that lives behind my house.

I’ve considered collecting dog poo and throwing it over the fence, because there’s no lack of it around here, but what if someone saw me?  This place is full of lookie-loos.  I need something more discreet and stealthy. Something that will make them regret the day they ever bought a chainsaw.

I will come up with a brilliant plan one day, then they will feel my wrath, and boy will they be sorry!!

Until then I will continue to give them the stink eye from the balcony.

12 Comments »

  1. Melissa February 23, 2011 at 8:03 am - Reply

    That’s disgusting!! To chop down a beautiful tree like that. They should be shot.

    • Breigh February 27, 2011 at 9:57 am - Reply

      I agree :( … or chainsawed!

  2. Candee February 23, 2011 at 8:26 am - Reply

    That is horrible. print off pictures of that beautiful tree and spam that stump like there is no tomorrow (do that in the middle of the night though).

    • Breigh February 27, 2011 at 11:54 am - Reply

      Yeah maybe I’ll have the photo laminated with a few choice words and put it on the tree haha

  3. Lizzy February 23, 2011 at 10:35 am - Reply

    I would be so excited if I bought a house and it had a gorgeous tree like that in the yard! That is just unbelievable to me that they’d cut it down. And on top of that, they tiled the whole yard? Grass isn’t that hard to take care of. Those people sound totally strange! I can’t wait to read about it one day when you finally carry out your master plan lol.

    • Breigh February 27, 2011 at 11:55 am - Reply

      Yeah I know some people really don’t want to maintain a garden, but then don’t buy a house with one! Especially to tear down something so beautiful! Idiots.

  4. Invader_Stu February 23, 2011 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    How could they cut down such an amazing tree? They can’t be right in the head.

    • Breigh February 27, 2011 at 11:57 am - Reply

      I agree. Care to join me in some neighbourhood shenanigans?!

  5. Zhu February 23, 2011 at 4:54 pm - Reply

    Yeah, I don’t really see the point of cutting a nice tree. But are you sure they did it? Could have been the landlord or something.

    Ah, neighbours stories…

    • Breigh February 27, 2011 at 11:58 am - Reply

      Naw, I saw them do it, and saw them continue to saw it down every time it tries to grow. :( Makes me want to scream at them.

      • Zhu February 28, 2011 at 12:50 am - Reply

        Then by all mean, scream.

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