Well, can you believe it? It’s been one year already! One year ago at the very time that I am typing this I was just out of surgery and my exciting post-op experience was about to begin! Seriously, I have been living in a time warp because it feels like it was just a few months ago. I cannot believe that it’s been a year already. What an amazing, crazy, mind-blowing year this has been!
I’ve not given a proper update since my 7 month point, sorry for that. I really did have the best of intentions going in but then we got so busy with all of our travels through the fall, I just didn’t find the time. Also, I have found that as the changes become less, that I have less to write about. Well, less in regards to the surgery anyway, now it is just becoming life and I have tons to write about with that.
So what has changed since that 7 month point? Well, my weight loss has slowed down, which is to be expected. I am now within 25 lbs of my goal weight so I don’t expect it to go quickly. I know that once you get to this point you have to kick it up a notch and work even harder to get to the end goal, which I’m doing.
Food wise, my portions have increased and I can now eat about a cup of a food at a time, which honestly feels like a LOT. I know, for people who are reading this that haven’t had WLS, a cup of food for an entire meal doesn’t sound like a lot… hell, I remember when I’d eat a cup of potatoes along with everything else I was eating. That’s how your perspective changes post-op though. There are times where I honestly feel like it’s too much because I had grown so accustomed to the 1/2 cup portions I’d been living on for so long. I know it’s normal and that portions increase after a few months so I’m not worried, it just seems weird because I’m not used to it yet.
Otherwise, I’ve been trying to spread my wings a little more with food, be a little less strict while still being sensible and eating healthy. I don’t mean I’m running out to get fast food, in fact… I’ve not had any fast food in the past year at all. I just mean that I’ve started eating regular cheese, butter, meats and such rather than always getting the low fat version of everything. Although there are some things, like milk, yogurt and certain meats that I will just not be able to eat again because the fat FEELS gross. Not in my stomach, but in my mouth. It’s very hard to explain but I know that other people in my situation get it. It just feels… yeah, gross. Anyway, I’m finding my balance within the natural fats and still avoiding harmful fats like deep fried things. I’m still very careful with sugar, and try to find my own ways to enjoy sweets made in my own way.
Physically things are going well. I still try to get exercise in, not a regular routine but just generally being more active and getting out and doing more fun and active things. Although that is about to change as my husband and I have decided we are going to join a local gym and get our workout on! We found a wonderful gym that we had actually looked into a few years ago but didn’t join because we thought it was too expensive. I’m so glad we decided to return and look into it because now the price works for us (they reduced their prices and we also get a deal for signing up together). So yeah, it’s time to move into the next phase of this journey and really start working on strength and fitness. I’m excited! I used to dread the thought of even stepping foot in a gym but now that I don’t feel like I will stick out like a sore thumb it’s a lot different. Also, the amount of stamina and fitness I have gained through the weight loss and activities I’ve done up until now have made me want more. I want to do more things, feel more fit… I want it all!
On the weight loss front, as I said, the weight loss has slowed, and I’m ok with that. Well, OK is probably a stretch, right now I’m sort of spitting nails because I’m stuck in a stall that has been going on for well over a month. I have been there before, though, and I know that it’s a wave I just have to ride out. It will move again, especially once I start at the gym.
Otherwise, it’s all good. I’ve still not had any complications, no dumping syndrome, no sickness… I feel great!
I think I can say that after about the 8-9 month point there was a distinct change between that feeling of being a post-op person and it just being life. The honeymoon is definitely over and it’s time to move on and tackle some other goals and challenges.
This year will also bring about the return of our fertility treatments, which I can’t deny is causing me a great deal of anxiety at the moment, so I’m not going to go into it too much right now. I’m working through it mentally, preparing myself and trying to get over the fact that it’s here already. I don’t feel ready, but I have no time to waste, which makes it a tricky situation. I feel as though I am purposely stepping out of what has proven to be my ‘happy place’ (the past year of positive changes and great times) and back into what was my most ‘unhappy place’ (the treatments, hormones, disappointment, stress, sadness). I’m trying to be more positive, to put all the happiness and positivity I’ve gained in the past year towards getting me through the coming year. I know we will be ok regardless of the outcome, it’s just the process I’m dreading. It’s all very familiar and not something I can say I’m looking forward to starting again. Right, well anyway, it’s a work in progress and I will touch back on that again later.
Now, the ONE YEAR photos!
As usual, I will start with the dreaded I BEFORE PHOTOS…
Nice… Who is that person? Looking back I feel like she’s the me who ate me or something. *Sigh* It makes me sad, to be honest. When I look at the face in that photo, I can still feel everything I was feeling that day as freshly as it was yesterday. The pain, the disgust… ugh. So much changes along this journey, but you never forget.
More photos, before I get weepy…
There it is, the big one year comparison between my highest weight, my weight on surgery day and today.
A closer look comparing before and after surgery. I’ve lost 92.4 lbs in the past 365 days and 138 lbs since my highest weight. Wow, I mean how do I even explain what an amazing feeling this is? There is no way to explain it because there are no words, at least within my vocabulary, that can do it justice…
The side view… what can I say about the side view? OK, so I’m definitely flatter, and thanks to a nice lady at Hunkemoller I have a new bra that gives the illusion that I actually still have breasts. Not big ones, mind you, but at least something! I don’t love the waddle under my chin and my thighs still definitely need work (although they are also my biggest problem area for post-op loose skin) but these are things that I am hoping are those stubborn last minute things that will change with time. I figure I can shave some off the thighs over the next few months at the gym!
Really though, who cares?! I’d much rather have what I have now than what I had starting out! My thighs may still be thick but they carry me a lot farther and allow me to do a lot more cool things than they did a year ago and I love them for that!
The badonkadonk!! It’s still there, sorta. It is a little saggy and doesn’t hold up a backpack the way it once did but again, I can’t complain! I can’t say I will ever miss that giant butt shelf of mine! I guess it’s not really much of a badonkadonk at all anymore, is it? It’s more of a… badinkadink? Basagasag? Badroopadroop? Whatever, it’s mine, and it fits in small seats and I love it!
Well, that’s it. My year is up, can you believe it? I guess now we have to see what kind of changes happen over the next few months. Will joining the gym help me deal with some of the remaining problem areas and get me to my end goal? How will things work out with the IVF? Will I get to my end goal before I get pregnant? WILL I get pregnant? So many unknowns.
I so, SO hope that this year turns out to be as rewarding and happy as the last. It is going to be a huge challenge but so was last year, and that was one of the best years of my life.
So, 2013… I guess all I can say is…