I had been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to make for my father in law, as I’d made the Christmas Stars Throw for him and Jenny as a combined gift, but I wanted to get something small for each of them as well.  When the ceramic idea came up I knew exactly what I was going to make.

Well no, not really… I couldn’t decide between two things, a mug or an ashtray.  He loves his coffee and his cigars so I knew either one would get used, but seeing as he really only smokes outside and uses mostly covered ashtrays to protect from the wind. I went for a mug!

I know, my ceramic painting skills are fantastic, aren’t they?  This actually took me frigging ages and it still came out sort of looking like a preschooler did it.  Still though, it was a gift with a personal touch and it’s not exactly like you can find things with Frogsmoker on them in the shops.  I knew he’d like it regardless!

You see, he also writes a blog called Frogsmoke, where he discusses all sorts of things about the French. He is Frogsmoker.  He and Jenny have lived in the south of France for years now and from what I can tell from our visits, and his blog, the French provide a lot of subject matter for a blog like his!  He has another blog as well, Bouguereau Remastered which has some pretty comical examples of photoshopped paintings by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. I’d never heard of him before seeing my FIL’s blog, but I get a big kick out of the photoshopped paintings.

Of course I made sure to put his name and the year on it so he doesn’t forget.  Not that he’ll forget his name, from what I can tell he’s still many many years away from that… but it’s always nice to see your name on something, isn’t it?  Plus, you’re probably less likely to find the name Romke on a mug than you are Frogsmoker!  Unless you are shopping in Friesland, perhaps.

Oh, and I know you are all in awe of my mad artistic skillz but please, don’t flood me with emails.  I’m afraid I won’t be taking orders.  I know it’s disappointing, but you’ll have to get over it.  You can always paint your own mug, or pretty much anything else ceramic that you’d want, here!

Related posts:

1. Xander’s Robot Love Mug
2. Rom & Jen’s Christmas Stars Throw
3. Christmas Gift Project – Haruni Shawl

Day 6 – Til’ Next Year Frosty
I was saying goodbye to my Christmas decorations which have been up far too long.  Ok, they are still up, I admit it… but I’ve stopped turning the lights on. Baby steps!  Today is the day, I can feel it! No really, I swear!

Day 7 – Rainbow
This was the day the yarn arrived for my next knitting project.  I love the bright colors, they make me happy.  With all the dreary weather lately it’s brought a bit of sunshine into my day.  Isn’t it pretty? One day I will show what I made with it but for now it’s going to have to remain top secret! I’ve already given away too much!

Day 8 – I Love My Harmony One!
My husband and I used the Santa money my parents sent to us to buy a universal remote, the Logitech Harmony One.  We were so tired of having to use three different remotes just to watch TV, and plus, we just love this kind of geeky shit.  I spent hours programming it and I’ve still not got it all right but I’ll spend some more time with it soon and get it all just the way I want it.  My DVD player is being a little bitchy and doesn’t want to turn on and off the way it should. Pesky thing…

Day 9 – Bailey’s Bath
I took this photo of Bailey after his bath. He’d gotten sick during the night in his crate and the smell clung to him, it was disgusting. A bath was in order and he was none too pleased about it.  Once he was out he went on with his usual post bath ritual of running around like a maniac and rubbing himself on every surface in the house.  As you can tell by the photo, a haircut is also in order!

Day 10 – FU Scale!
You know how a photo speaks a thousand words? Well, I have a thousand swear words for my scale at the moment.  I still have not shaken that last kilo I gained over Christmas and it’s ticking me off.  In the last month I’ve not gone down at all, and yeah it’s only one kilo I’m up, it could be much worse, but still… it’s not where I wanted to be right now.  It’s also irritating me that I broke a diet that was working so well for me and I am having trouble getting back to my usual routine.  Most people would think it’s extreme, and that fretting over one measly spoonful of jam in a day is ridiculous, but I hate that I am in that “oh one won’t hurt” state of mind.  I am going to have to do the detox part of the diet again to get the sugar out of my system, and I will know better next time when I think it wouldn’t hurt to go off track just for a little while. It’s really not worth it.  The happiness I get out of seeing the weight come off is far far more pleasure than any piece of cake, cookie or spoonful of jam will ever give me. That’s what I need to remember.

Day 11 – Battered Keyboard
I type a lot, me and my laptop are joined a the hip, so to speak.  I am a touch typer and I can type like the wind, probably faster than anyone I know.  I’m also long winded and wordy and I like to chat, so there’s been a lot of typing on this keyboard.  The evidence is showing because I’m starting to wear the keys down.  I’m not sure the keyboard will last through the lifetime of the laptop itself, so it would probably be a good idea to start looking around the internet for a replacement, before they don’t exist anymore.  This has happened to every keyboard I’ve ever had, so it’s no surprise.  The N is always the worst for some reason… I suppose I use a lot of N words like uhhh,  Nigeria and Neapolitan and necrophilia and  Nostradamus and narcolepsy and nanocephalous and necessarianism… you know, just the usual N words that come up in everyday conversation.  I must try to keep them to a minimum in the future.

Related posts:

1. Project 365 (Days 4 & 5) Food and Fire!
2. Project 365 (Day 2) Painting With Light
3. Project 365 (Day 3) Ten Years of Christmases

The project was Red Heart’s Christmas Stars Throw which I made for my father-in-law and his wife.  I started it in October in Canada and finished it almost two weeks before Christmas.  It took longer than I expected because of my unexpected surgery and a few other things that had come up that distracted me.

It started by making the diamond pieces that make up the stars.  They weren’t difficult, just time consuming and it took a while to get them all done.

Once I had all the diamond pieces made, over 180 of them, it was time to start putting them together.  This is where things started to get difficult.

The pattern says to start from the top right hand corner of the blanket when putting the pieces together.  This turned out to be confusing and frustrating. It wasn’t so bad in the beginning but once the blanket started getting a bit bigger, it was hard to tell where I was.  There turned out to be more than one five-sided star that needed to be taken apart and fixed, and a few swear words to go along with it.

Hoping she’d learn from my frustration, I advised my mother to put hers together differently, making the stars first and then putting the larger pieces together. It seemed to take her less time and caused her a lot less grief, so the pattern instructions could really do with some changing.  I don’t think there is any real purpose for them saying to put them together in that specific order.

She did say it was still a pain to assemble, but not as bad as it would have been trying to do it piece by piece from the top corner as I had done.

I think doing the border was probably the easiest and most enjoyable part of the whole thing.  That was probably because I started seeing the finished product.  That’s the best part of any craft project, I think.  No matter how much you pull your hair out while making something, it’s ALWAYS worth it, especially if it’s a gift.

I was really pleased with the finished product and was glad that I went with more everyday colors than the full on Christmas red and green like the pattern called for.

Oh, but the assmeply aside, ya know the most frustrating part of the whole thing?  The fact that it didn’t get to them in time!

During my recovery from surgery, I worked day and night getting the blanket done so we had enough time to get it sent out before Christmas.  It was going to France so we figured a week to ten days would give us enough time.  It was mailed out on December 17th and arrived in France on December 21st.  Sounds good, right?

WRONG!

It arrived alright, at a drop off point in a village 25 minutes away from my in laws.  Even that wouldn’t be so bad if someone had bothered to let them know it was there, which they didn’t.  So their Christmas present sat in a tobacconist over the Christmas holiday.  Nice.

When it hadn’t arrived by Christmas, my husband looked it up and saw that it had been dropped there on the 21st. There was collective swearing among us all at that moment.  So now my FIL and going to put in a complaint on his end, as we will do on ours.

Oh well, they did end up getting it eventually and that’s all that matters… and that they liked it, that helped too.

Related posts:

1. Rom’s Frogsmoker Mug
2. Only Three Months Till Christmas!
3. Christmas Gift Project – Haruni Shawl

I was looking over my tree tonight, dreading the thought of taking all my Christmas decorations down and putting them away, when I noticed this ornament.  My husband and I bought it the first year we were married, in 2000, which was our 2nd year together and first year as husband and wife.

I still feel way too young to have been married for over 10 years.  Seriously…

Related posts:

1. Project 365 (Day 12) Normal
2. Project 365 (Day 1) A Pitiful Year for Fireworks
3. Project 365 (Day 17) My New Favorite Thing – Singapore Sling

I made her a Haruni Shawl, which I can safely say is the most difficult thing I have knitted to date.  It required massive amounts of concentration and a lot of time.  I even took it to Canada with me to complete because I was so afraid I wouldn’t finish it in time to begin my next project.

I chose a really soft Alpaca wool from Drops, it was so lovely to work with.  I can’t wait to make something with this wool again!  I loved the color and my husband and I were sure that it would look beautiful on my mother in law.

Starting out it really didn’t look like much of anything.  I was knitting and paying strict attention to the pattern because I was so terrified to make a mistake.  The process for making the shawl is knitting it, then soaking it in lukewarm water, and stretching it out to make the shape.  Before stretching it out it’s really difficult to see if the pattern is forming properly, which rattled my nerves something fierce!

There were a lot of stitches involved, towards the end there were over 500 and I had to count each and every one again and again because I was so afraid I missed one or added another along the way.  Part way through I went and bought some stitch markers and that made life much easier.  I still counted obsessively but I was a little more confident while doing so.

I wish I’d taken more photos during the process but I was so busy working on it and trying to get it done that I just didn’t think of it.

While I was in Canada I took advantage of the space in my mother’s house and used the rug on her dining room floor to stretch and pin the shawl.  I also had her to help me, which made it a little easier. I could have done it on my own but it helped to have my mother there to tell me it really does look the way it should.

Yeah, I’m needy like that.

As I started stretching it out and pinning it, I saw the pattern starting to take shape, which was a huge relief.  It was like the moment of truth after a month of working hardcore to get this done.

This is the final product! YAY!  I was so proud of myself when I had it all stretched out and saw that I actually did do it right! Wahoo!  The color is different in this photo because I had to use the flash, the first two photos are a better representation of the lovely purple color.

When my MIL phoned this morning she said she loved it and was wearing it around all day yesterday.  I was tickled right down to my toes!  This was such a big project for me and was such a learning experience, it makes me really happy that she likes it and will wear it.

Even though it was difficult, I really enjoyed making this shawl.  I think it’s something I would definitely do again, either this patterns or others like it.  Especially in the alpaca wool, that stuff is awesome.

Merry Christmas, Nicole!  I’m so glad you like it! xoxo

Related posts:

1. Only Three Months Till Christmas!
2. Rom & Jen’s Christmas Stars Throw
3. Project 365 Catch-up (Days 6-11)

Today was laundry day and part of laundry day is wearing things you probably wouldn’t wear otherwise, so that all the stuff you do want to wear can be washed. At least that’s how it works in my house… or maybe it’s because I always put the laundry off for too long.  It could be that.

Whatever… tonight while I was making dinner my husband and I were laughing at the pants I was wearing.  A pair of my favorite stretchy 3/4 length pants that has gotten me through many many summers. They were worn a lot, because mostly everything else I tried on wouldn’t fit.  No matter how much weight I gained, they would stretch enough to fit and still be comfortable.

At one point I even took the drawstring out because even with it tied as loosely as possible, I couldn’t get the pants over my hips without untying it if I had to go to the bathroom.  I was too lazy to tie and untie it all the time, and it’s not like I needed the drawstring to hold them up.

I could have used that drawstring today during laundry day.

I have to admit, it felt sort of good to wear those pants again.  Not because I still like them for the same reasons, but because I needed a reminder of why I should stay on track.  The last few weeks have been a bit difficult for me, first with my gallbladder issues and surgery, then some other private issues that came up that I had to deal with.

Well, let’s just say it’s been a stressful couple of weeks… and even though I’ve lost almost 85 lbs now, one thing has not changed.  When I pass a certain level of anxiety or stress, there is only one thing I want to do.

EAT!  Eat every damn thing in sight.

Then I get pissed off that I still have those urges to eat for comfort.

Which makes me want to eat more… which makes me more pissed off… which makes me want to eat… which… you get the point.

I try not to, and most of the time I succeed. I try to just eat more of the healthy things that fit nicely into my diet but with Christmas on top of it all, it’s a bit more difficult.  There is temptation everywhere I go, people are on Facebook talking about the delicious things they have eaten, baked, or bought, the oliebollen are out everywhere I go… and I feel like I am missing out.  I know that NOT missing out on ANYTHING is what made me so hideously fat to begin with and I try to remind myself of that.  I know that there are a lot of things I’m missing out on because of my weight too, and while Christmas will be over in a week, all those things I’ve been missing out on will still be there.

I also know that there are a few very important health issues that depend on me continuing to lose weight in order to improve.  There are things I want for my life that rely on me continuing to lose this weight.  It’s SO important for my future and my happiness.

Anyway, what I mean is that I needed to wear those great big baggy pants today.  Now more than any other time I’ve been trying to lose weight, I needed to feel like I’ve changed and see some evidence of all the hard work.  Those pants gave that to me today.  By being way too big even without needing to use any of the stretch in them, by the crotch hanging down to my knees, and by hanging to my ankles when they once went just past my knees.  Those pants gave me a little more strength to get through the holiday season.

So did my husband… by climbing into the pants with me and showing me that now we can both fit into pants that I almost didn’t fit into myself at one time.

This made me laugh. In fact, we both laughed so hard that we collapsed and I knocked the towel rack behind me straight off the wall!

It’s true, you know, what they say about laughter being the best medicine. I didn’t even care that we busted the towel rack, or that we came very close to being found dead two weeks from now because we were tangled up in the same pants and couldn’t out of our tiny bathroom to find help.  All I cared about was that my husband was in my pants and that gave me more pleasure than any oliebollen ever could.

Yes, I know how dirty that sounded.

Yes honey, it’s ok if you tell all your friends I said that.

After my post about reaching 80 lbs lost and joking on Facebook about my husband getting in my pants with me, some people commented that they wanted to see some real before and after photos, as up until this point I’ve really only shown photos of my face.  That’s because photos of me before I started trying to lose weight are VERY few and far between.

I may love being behind a camera but I have never enjoyed being in front of one.  When I was over 300 lbs the thought of taking photos of myself, or worse… putting them on the internet, was my biggest nightmare.

Anyhow, I dug through my photo archives and found some photos of myself back in 2008 while I was in France.  I don’t think I had quite reached my highest weight at that point, I was probably somewhere between 280 – 300 lbs.  Tonight I had my husband shoot some quick photos of me in somewhat the same positions to try to show the difference.

Hopefully you can tell which photos are the before photos!  If you can’t… be a dear and just lie, ok?

So, here’s my plan.  Christmas is this week, and New Years Eve is the week after.  I have less than two full weeks to get through until at least the Christmas temptation is gone.  That will be one gone from the list of reasons why I’ve been struggling a little recently.  I’ve already allowed a few small indulgences, like a hot chocolate when I was out with my friend getting our nails done last week.

HOT CHRISTMAS BALLS!  After six months almost entirely sugar free, hot chocolate has never tasted so damn good!  You have no idea!

I will allow myself another small indulgence for Christmas and one for New Year, then it’s back to the grindstone.  Back on the wagon.

BALLS TO THE WALL!!!

Err, got carried away there. Sorry.

Yeah, so next time you are lazy and haven’t done your laundry in a while. Don’t worry, maybe having no clean pants will brighten your day a little too.  You never know!

Related posts:

1. Pissy Pants! Pissy Pants!
2. 101 List – I Can Finally Say It!!
3. Project 365 (Day 3) Ten Years of Christmases

After a rather expensive Christmas last year and a rough year financially, I’ve decided that this I am going to make this Christmas as much of a homemade Christmas as possible, which means busting my ass doing crafts and trying to figure out what I can make for all the people in my life.

This is the mystery project I am working on at the moment, and I can safely say it’s the most difficult thing I’ve tried to knit yet.  It requires a lot more concentration than anything else I’ve made and I worry that it’s going to take up so much of my time that other projects won’t be completed.  I’m staying positive though and spending a lot of time at home with these knitting needles in hopes of getting it done as soon as possible so I can move on.

Only problem is, I keep making mistakes and having to slowly pick apart 1-2 rows to get back to a place where I know I was still doing it right. Oh the joys of knitting!  I prefer crocheting because it’s so much more forgiving and much easier to correct if you make a mistake, which I do fairly often.

I can’t believe that three months from today is Christmas day.  I can’t believe that one month from today I will be packing to come back to the Netherlands as my trip to Canada will be over.  Where is the time going?

I am pretty sure that people are going to think I fell off the face of the earth over the next few months, because I am going to be squirreled away in my house surrounded by knitting needles, crochet hooks, yarn and cross stitches.

Hopefully they will all forgive me on Christmas when they receive their gifts!

Related posts:

1. Three Months Until Christmas!
2. Christmas Gift Project – Haruni Shawl
3. Rom & Jen’s Christmas Stars Throw

Our other expat friends gathered together at our house for dinner on Christmas Day

The hardest part about life as an expat is missing your family and friends, I don’t think there is an expat out there who can argue that… and in the age of Twitter, Facebook, and instant messengers, it’s impossible to isolate yourself in your own little world and adopt a “What I don’t know won’t hurt me” attitude like you may have been able to in the past.  It is especially hard to enjoy the holidays when you are in a new place without them and you feel like everything is going on without you.  That’s why creating your own traditions is vital to getting through the holidays in your new home country.

I have been living in the Netherlands for 10 years now and I think this is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned during my time here.  In the first few years, the holidays were an incredibly difficult time for me, especially Christmas.   I loved Christmas in Canada, with the snow, my family and friends getting together to reminisce and laugh about old times, great food, Christmas carols, driving around to look at all the Christmas lights and waking up to open presents with my parents.  That’s what Christmas was to me…

Waiting patiently for the food while hubby hands out Christmas presents

When I came to the Netherlands I wasn’t really thinking about those things.  I was in love!! I was going to the Netherlands to be with the man of my dreams and that was all that mattered.  Come December though, it was like running full speed into a brick wall.  For the first few years I couldn’t cope at all.  I didn’t have a lot of friends or any real roots here in Holland.  I would sit trying to hold back the tears as my mother would fill me in on all that was going on back home.   I’d try not to be resentful towards my husband for ‘bringing’ me here (even though I brought myself here, didn’t I?), and my family for still continuing on all our old traditions without me, but I failed miserably.   I was not pleasant to be around during Christmas, I didn’t even like being around me myself.  I wallowed.

At some point, and I can’t remember when exactly, I had enough.  It was so draining for me to put myself through that year after year, and I knew that it wasn’t just ruining Christmas for me, but also for my husband and my family back home.   My husband felt helpless, he didn’t know what to do to make me feel better and my family back home were missing me just as much as I was missing them, but on top of that they had the weight of the knowledge that I was so desperately unhappy.   It wasn’t bad enough that I fell into a terrible rut every year during the holidays, but even without meaning to, I was dragging them down with me.   I know my husband had to bite his tongue many times and probably wished he was anywhere but here, with me, at Christmas.  I also know that my mother would downplay the fun they were having and try not to go into too much detail about people getting together, for fear of making me even more homesick than I already was.

My misery not only affected those immediately around me, but it spread across an ocean!

It was time for a change, and that is how the Crazy Christmas Lady came to be.  I decided (yes, it really is that easy) that I was not going to spend another holiday season being miserable and bah humbugging everything around me.  I was going to embrace Christmas in this new land of mine, and create my own traditions, because the traditions you create today are the happy memories of tomorrow, right? 

A photo a friend caught of me with his mobile, and I thought I dodged them all! 

When Christmas rolled around the next year, my mind was set.  I bought decorations for the house, I stocked up on Christmas cards and sent them out to everyone I knew (even people I didn’t know very well, I was on a roll!), I ordered a turkey and was hellbent on learning how to cook it myself and made an honest to goodness effort to let go of the homesickness.  Instead of feeling resentful towards my husband, I tried to show him that I do love him and want to create our own memories.  Rather than worrying about what was going on without me back home, I concentrated on what I was going to do to have fun here.  IT WORKED.  I had a great Christmas, and if I’m honest, I created a monster.  Christmas has quickly become my absolute favorite time of year and I refuse to let anything change that.   If money is tight, or we’ve maybe had a rough year, it’s fine… but Christmas will go on!

Since this sort of mental switch, I’ve been having a blast.  I’ve dragged my friends into my insanity, having them over for dinner on Christmas day while I try to iron out the wrinkles in my turkey dinner cooking adventures.  Each year I pick up a few more decorations for the house, which is starting to look like Christmas vomited all over it, but that’s ok, and I do whatever it takes to bring Christmas spirit into myself, my husband, my friends and our home.  Like Christmas Crafts and cross stitches, making my own quilted tree skirt, when my friend Penny and I went to the Cologne Christmas Market, or this year when my husband and I visited the Christmas Fair at Kasteel Keukenhof.  Who knows where I’ll end up next year, and that’s what I love about it.  It’s only January 2nd and I’m already looking forward to next Christmas.

New Traditions are not limited to Christmas alone. This year our friends started a new tradition of a pumpkin carving party ‘for the kids’.  I think the adults enjoyed it more than the kids did! 

So, even if you usually think I’m completely full of crap, take my advice on this.  I have done it both ways, I’ve let myself be miserable and I’ve put my foot down and decided to make the best of it, so I know what I’m talking about.   I know being in a new country can be difficult and none of us will ever stop missing our family and friends during the holidays, but it doesn’t have to be a time of homesickness and sadness.   The choice is there to create new traditions and have our own adventures!   If your family and friends are anything like mine, they won’t mind you missing them a little bit less, as long as they know you are happy!

Related posts:

1. Expat Limbo – Google Maps Style
2. Decorating Early
3. The Missing Piece

Every year on New Years Eve I am on my balcony in hopes of getting some good firework photos.  Back in 2007 I was bummed because it was raining on NYE so not as many people were out.  Also it made for very foggy weather.  The fact that I was trying to get photos with my point and shoot didn’t help either.  Without a tripod I didn’t have a chance of getting anything decent.

Then in 2008 it was really foggy so I thought I’d be clever and take video instead, knowing from my 2007 experience that I didn’t have a hope in hell of getting any good photos.  What was not so clever though?  Deleting the files off my camera before realizing that for some reason, the videos weren’t uploaded along with the few photos I did take.   I was thankful for the noise of the fireworks, it drowned out my long string of screamed profanities.

Another photo of the same view. I didn’t catch the big one on the left fully, but I still like it.

This year I had two things going in my favor.  Firstly, my new camera, a Sony A300 that I bought back in March.  It’s my first digital SLR camera and it’s a very steep learning curve.  I still consider myself a total beginner, but a beginner who is having bucket loads of fun with it.

Another thing that made all the difference was the Hama Star 63 Tripod my husband bought me for Christmas!  When you start doing anything in regards to photography, everyone will tell you to get a tripod, and now I know why.  I am generally a pretty unsteady and shaky person, so trying to get photos in any kind of low light situation is a nightmare. With the tripod it’s so much easier.  I’ll definitely be dragging it with me most places in the future.

There weren’t as many fireworks this year at midnight as there have been other years.  Maybe it’s the financial crisis, maybe it has something to do with them cracking down on the sale of illegal fireworks, I’m not sure.  I do wish people would put more money into the beautiful, photo worthy fireworks to be set off at night than they do in the annoying, loud and unnecessary bangers and firecrackers they set off all day.

You can see all my firework photos, past and present, in my Fireworks Set on Flickr.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Related posts:

1. Project 365 (Day 1) A Pitiful Year for Fireworks
2. Rainy New Year
3. A New Year and a New Blog!

I just saw the funniest video.  It’s a parody of the X-Men films using a mixture of movies like Wolvrine, Max Payne, Batman Begins, The Hulk and Blade and then put together with bits from different Tim Allen films.

Generally I’m not a fan of spoofy movies that make fun of other shit.  Scary Movie, Naked Gun, and all the like just make me want to gouge my own eyes out.

This shit though, I love. Perhaps because it’s less than four minutes. Enjoy!

P.S. Marky Mark could invade my Christmas with his big gun anytime.

Related posts:

1. Even Jack is No Match for Santa!
2. Burn Baby, Burn!
3. Shopping With Men