Today I went for my second gastroscopie and all I can say is that it wasn’t as good an experience as the first one.  Everything seemed to be following the same routine as the first time, I went in, they took my blood pressure, laid me down and gave me the drugs.  Then I was off to La La Land.

This time I paid attention when they gave me the drugs and watched the time on the monitor.  He put it in at 25 seconds and the last I remember seeing was 47.  So that stuff works pretty quickly!  I was happy to drift off knowing when I woke up I’d be in the recovery room with Xander laughing at me and my repeated conversations.  That’s not exactly how it happened though.

When I woke up I couldn’t breathe, I was gagging and people were shushing and tutting me while holding me down.  It felt like someone had their fist in my throat and between trying to breathe, trying not to gag and puking up some kind of foam or something, I was terrified!

Had I known this would happen I may have been prepared and not felt so fucked up by it, but I expected, like the last time, to wake up in another room without remembering anything that happened.  Not to wake up in the middle of it in a panic.  It was a total nightmare…  I wasn’t ready and I wasn’t really sure what was going on. 

I remember them wheeling me into the other room and Xander walking in a minute later.  When he asked how it went I just cried.  I felt ridiculous and like a total baby but it was just me and him there and I didn’t care.  It was a really shitty experience and I was totally shaken up by it.  He agreed that something wasn’t right because before I was sleepy and in and out for a while, but this time I was already awake, probably a mixture of there not being enough sedative and masses of adrenaline.   Neither of us were very happy about it but he just sat there and let me cry it out, and then we waited until I could leave.

I came home and the adrenaline wore off quickly, I stumbled my way to bed and crashed for over three hours.  Now I’m awake and I my throat feels like someone has been punching it from the inside, not raw but swollen and it hurts to swallow.   I hope to god I never have to have this done again.

On the plus side, in true Tammy style, I made sure I didn’t leave without a little keepsake for my blog!!

Look ma!  No food!

Yeah, that’s my stomach, pretty gross huh!  Oh please, you should know me better than to think I wouldn’t post something like this if I had the chance!

When the doctor gave me the photo I asked her if there was anything wrong, she said for the most part things looked ok but there is inflammation in my stomach and they aren’t sure what the cause is.  So they took a few biopsies and we’ll have the results of the tests then.

So, now all I can do is wait and hope to god I never, for as long as I live, have to have this procedure done again.  Ever.

I wish I’d asked for a photo of the last time when there was still food in there, oh man that would have been awesome!  Gross… but awesome!

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Actually, no… don’t!

A week from today I have my 2nd appointment for a Gastroscopy, not fun.  It goes a little something like this…

I just had it done on the 18th, and you’d think once would be enough but please… this is me we’re taking about.  It goes without saying that my body will play evil tricks on me that make me want to dress myself in cement shoes and throw me in a river.  

When I visited the first time I did just as they said, no food after midnight the previous evening (I didn’t eat after 6pm just to be extra good!), no food in the morning, and so on.   I was nervous because I was going to be sedated, which has never happened, but it was better than the alternative.   The alternative being held down while the people shove this thing down your throat.  Sorry, but… no.

So I get there, they try really hard to talk me out of the sedation because apparently the Dutch, being the hardcore mofos that they are, take it without being sedated at all.  Yeah, they also pull teeth without freezing.  That makes them crazy, not me. 

Long story short… they sedate me, I wake up, and Xander is there.  Apparently, we had the same conversation numerous time, which was quite amusing for him.   This is his version:

T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:45, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. I think I am ready to go home now"
T: Zzzzzzz

<2 mins later>
T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:50, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. Can I go home now?"
T: Zzzzz

<2 mins later>
…..

I don’t remember so I don’t really care.   He took this photo of me, which he –says- I asked him to take ’for my blog’, I’m not so sure, I mean seriously?

He should have known better… but, then again I just put it on here for the whole world to see, so maybe I really did say it after all.  Perhaps I should get my head checked next time I’m there, just to see if I have any of my marbles left. 

You know what bothers me most about this photo?  It’s not how fat I am, or how horrible my face looks when I’m sedated, or even the state of my hair.  It’s that pad they put under my face.  It reminds me of one of those pads you buy for puppies to pee on, which makes me wonder what exactly they were expecting to come out of my face.  Was that really necessary?

I want those drugs again because at that moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.

Anyhow, you are probably wondering why, if I’ve obviously already had the procedure, am I having it done again so soon?  That’s where the evil body tricks come in.   Even though I fasted for like SIX WHOLE FREAKIN HOURS longer than what was asked of me, I still had food in my stomach when they went in with the scope.  She could even tell my husband what I had for dinner the night before… nice.

The reason I had to go in the first place was because of all the problems I’ve had over the past few years with acid reflux, and after two different medications the doctor has decided it’s time to go in, check things out and take some biopsies of my stomach.

Needless to say, the doctor wasn’t expecting to go in and see what was left of my fajitas!  I guess it’s not a good thing when your body digests that slowly, maybe that’s why I’m fat!

Shut up and leave me alone, I’ll take any excuse I can get.

Now I have to go back again on the 2nd, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any more fun… I now have to fast the ENTIRE DAY before my appointment.  So my dinner on Monday will be the last thing I eat until my lunch on Wednesday.   All I can have are drinks and clear soup, not even the little bits in the soup, just the broth.

I am going to be the pyscho hungry bitch from hell!  How much do you want to bet that Xander “has to work in the office” that day?

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