I know, I’m STILL going on about mosquitoes in February, but they are still causing me pain!

See, here’s what happened.  It was early September and I was laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning when I felt a mosquito bite on my back.  It was about 3am – 4am and I was not ready to wake up yet but it needed some serious scratching!  Problem was, it was in that annoying area of my back that I couldn’t reach properly… and let this be a lesson on why you shouldn’t bother trying when you aren’t fully awake.

For some reason, in my half-asleep state, I thought it would be a good idea to twist my arm and then use the pressure of my body against the bed to give it just an extra wee push so I could reach the bite to scratch it.  I know, stupid.  Thinking about it now in the mosquito free winter months it seems ridiculous, but all I can do is blame it on the yearly insanity I suffer due to these flying bloodsucking bastards.  Anyhow, I felt something get uncomfortable in my shoulder so I stopped, rolled on my back and wiggled around like a fool.  By some miracle I even managed to go back to sleep.

When I did get up I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I tried to put my bra on.  Reaching behind me to close it was pretty uncomfortable.  Then when I raised my arms to put my shirt on, yeah that hurt too.  I didn’t give it too much attention because it wasn’t major pain, just discomfort and I figured I probably slept on it badly.  It hurt right in the front where my arm attached to my body, like right in the front of my armpit almost.  Annoying.

It didn’t hurt when my arm was just hanging there, or if I moved it in moderate amounts. It just hurt when I tried to do things like put deodorant on the other side, put a shirt on, take a shirt off, pull the covers over myself in bed… that sort of stuff.  The rest of the time it was ok!

So for weeks after that it stayed at that uncomfortable stage.  I still went to aqua jogging, wanting to punch the instructor every time she had us doing things with our arms above our heads.  I noticed after that it felt a little worse, but I figured it was because it was a little sore (like the rest of me) after having a bit of a workout.

Then in December I joined a gym and on my first workout he had me on the treadmill and then was going to work my upper body.  I don’t know what the machines are called but there is one where you put your arms out at your side bent upwards at the elbow, and you need to pull the thing together in front of you. You know the one?  Well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Or maybe the straw that broke the camel’s shoulder?

Ok let’s be honest, the straw that broke the cow’s shoulder.

Anyhow, it was really strange how it felt, it was like there were gaps in my muscle.  I’d be pushing that thing together and it hurt, but at the same time it was like there were split seconds where my muscle felt like it just loosened, or let go, ugh I can’t explain it.  Sort of a stop and start feeling.  Whatever it was, I knew it couldn’t be good and the pain in my shoulder doubled, maybe even tripled, after that.

As someone who is always twisting ankles (I can’t find the posts about that, even though I’ve done it like 10 times, I know they are there!), breaking my ass, having a stomach that hates me, putting my back out, screwing up my pinkie toe, constantly getting colds and just generally being a big whiner, I sort of wanted to ignore it.  I have gotten so tired of things being wrong with me that I decided if I pretended it wasn’t there long enough, eventually it wouldn’t be.

Part of why I have been trying to lose weight is because of just that, I feel broken.  Physically, if it’s not one thing it’s another, ya know?  I have been like one of those 90 year old grannies who invites people over for tea so I can tell them about my hip surgery.  Enough already…

When I told my trainer about the pain, he pushed and dug around in my shoulder (which hurt like a bitch and even left a bruise! … but I forgive him) and then told me to get my ass to the doctor, so I did.  Then HE pushed and dug and made me move my arm in all sort of directions, which left another bruise and was lucky I hadn’t run out of forgiveness yet.

His verdict?  I’d pulled a ligament in my shoulder, I guess like I did with my toe.  Judging by where the pain is, I can only guess that it’s one of those blue ones, or maybe all of the blue ones, who knows.

Because of the problems with my stomach, he can’t give me pain killers (apparently they aggravate the whole acid situation), but he is sending me for physiotherapy, which I’ve never had before.   I have no idea how it all works, do I go in there so someone else can dig and push and test the limits of my forgiveness?  Does he massage me and make me feel better (I am hoping for this one), or does he make me do exercise?  I dunno…  What exactly do they do?

I will know in a few hours, as I have my first appointment at 2pm.  I can only assume that whatever it is he does, it will eventually make my shoulder feel better.  They wouldn’t have jobs if they weren’t doing something right.  I trust this guy though because I’ve already met him and he is REALLY nice.  I’ve been seeing him for some other things he does and I just got lucky that when I found out I needed physiotherapy that I remembered he does that too!

I do hope we are able to do something to fix it though, because the doctor told me I can’t do any exercises with my arms, which rules out returning to aqua fitness or doing any upper body workouts at the gym.   On the plus side, I’m doing tons of lower body workouts so I’ll probably have legs like rocks by the time this is all worked out! 

Related posts:

1. A World Without Mosquitoes

Random photo from some smarter people than us.

This is what I see for my future.  A world where I am not even 40 yet and am already sleeping in twin beds.  It’s 4:51am as I write this and I’ve already been awake for an hour.  I am at the end of my rope.  I don’t even remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep and I am really starting to feel it.

I hate mosquitoes.  I hate them to the ends of the earth and back, but they love me.

This year we’ve tried to combat the problem by getting a mosquito net for over the bed and an automatic citronella spray that plugs in next to the bed.   Does this stop the little bastards from getting in? – NO! I wouldn’t be writing this if it did.

Do you know what doesn’t help?  Having a husband that flip flops around like a fish all night and pulls the net arse ways and crooked, creating gaps galore for the mosquitoes to enter through.  Not. Helping!!!

*sigh*  I love my husband so much but at 4:30am, sitting alone in my living room scratching the giant mosquito bite on my cheek… there is nothing I hate more on earth than sharing a bed with him.  Here’s how it went for me this morning (and numerous other mornings so far this spring):

I’m still mostly asleep but notice an itch on my back, in a spot I know no amount of twisting is going to allow me to reach.  I slowly roll onto my back, trying not to move around so much that I wake myself up fully.  I peek at the clock, it’s 3:48am.

I settle on my back with the blankets up to my neck, and notice an itch on the side of my hand, reminding myself if I scratch it, it will get worse and wake me up.  My cheek itches like a bitch too.

It’s 3:50am.

Horseback riding through a field…

I’m feeling myself starting to wake up so I desperately try to think about anything else that will get me dreamy and not thinking about my body itching.

It’s 3:55am.  It’s not working.

Sleep dammit… peaceful thoughts.  Aaah isn’t this bed soft… yes, so tired.  Sleeeep.

I’m just starting to manage to drift off again and *NUDGE – SHAKE – BLANKET YANK*!  My husband is getting himself comfortable.

It’s 4:01am.

Even breaths, breath in and long breaths out.  Relax.  Sleep.

I realize I’m a little cold, because my husband had just pulled the top blanket off of me.  I keep my eyes closed while feeling around trying to sort them out again.  For some reason I figure if I do it without opening my eyes, I won’t wake up.  I get the blankets sorted and resume my mummy position under the blankets.  He feels it of course and flips himself over onto his side, landing hard and yanking the blankets back in the process.

It’s 4:08am.

I know they are out there and now that my cheek is itching I know they aren’t above munching on my face.  I can’t breathe warm air, I am claustrophobic.  How do I save my face and still breathe at the same time. Just keep still and pretend it isn’t happening.

The slight panic is waking me up a little more. It’s 4:15am.  I can feel my husband moving his legs around.

Edward and Bella… love, romance, intrigue.  I wonder how many mosquitoes have gotten in.  I should get up and kill them.  Wait, no, if I do that I’ll totally be awake.  Jacob, Alice, mind reading…

I try to force the dreamy again by thinking of something other than mosquitoes attacking my cheeks and eyelids.  It starts to work, I’m drifting off into the magical land of Twilight when *WHAM* – I’ve been ass slammed!

It’s not as dirty as it sounds, it’s when my husband lifts himself up, flips over to his other side while assuming a semi fetal position.  When he does this facing away from me, he always shoves his arse way over onto my side and literally … BUTT butts me.

“FOR FUCK SAKE, XANDER!”

I huff, turn on the light and get on my knees.  That’s when I see that my husband, in all his tossing and turning, flipping and flopping, has managed to pull the mosquito net all up over himself.  I look up and see five mosquitoes perched bloated and happy on the inside of the net.  I’m sure one of them smirked at me.

I start clapping wildly trying to kill them.  Smushing one and getting blood all over the net, while missing the rest because I’m still sleepy and uncoordinated.

“Unnnggghhh … whaurghh??”  I look over and see my husband plucking one of his earplugs from his ear and squinting at me.  I guess that means “WTF are you DOING?!”.

“Goddamn mosquitoes. Can’t keep still… twin beds…” *CLAP* “Flipping… tossing… blankets…” *SMACK*

Oh… no, I wasn’t smacking him.  Even though I admit I felt like it.  I was still attacking the mosquitoes.

"I have weird dreams", he replies, before flopping over furiously and going back to sleep.  Immediately, I might add.  Yeah, no making the dreamy happen for him, it’s like:  AWAKE — 2 seconds — SNORE.

It’s 4:31 am and I’m getting the hell out of bed!

Now I am here sharing my misery, cuz that’s just how I roll.

So, I figure I have three options.

1. Twin beds
2. A bigger badder mosquito net

(I totally just clapped on a big bloody mosquito right here before I even got to three)

3. Find something that attracts mosquitoes and slather my husband in it before bed.

I’m leaning towards no. 3 at the moment, but that may change after hubby gets up and does his smile and kiss me good morning routine.   He’s clever, that one. With the cuteness.

Related posts:

1. A World Without Mosquitoes
2. Aliens in My Bed
3. A Bad Start to a New Month…

The problem isn’t just that I get bitten by them, it’s that I get bitten by them and have serious reactions.  Other people get these little white bumps, look what I get!

Yeah, SO not fun.  My arm isn’t totally misshapen by the way, I just had to twist it weird to show the bite.   There are more but I can’t be bothered to take pics of them all.  Plus, I’m sure this drives the point home.

My husband thinks something else is biting me but I refuse to consider it because the first thing that comes to mind is spiders in my bed, and that makes me freak right the hell out.

It’s mosquitoes, I know it is.  I see them flittering about my house.   The other night one landed on my book while I was reading in bed and I slammed the book shut so hard I startled the dog.  I killed the bastard though!

I had a look online to see if there was any information what the world would be like without them.  Surprisingly, there hasn’t been a lot of research into this topic, which I find ridiculous.  First they should study what happens if we wipe them off the planet, then… if it’s nothing bad, they should start hatching a plan to do so!

Anyhow, this is one of the answers I found to the question:

…  The situation with mosquitoes is less clear. Most people think only of the negative impact mosquitoes have through vectoring diseases of humans and animals – did you know that creatures as diverse as frogs, lizards, and birds have their own versions of mosquito-borne malaria? However, mosquitoes, both as larvae and adults, can serve as a food source for a variety of animals from birds and bats to other arthropods and birds, but none of these predators that I know of are dependent on mosquitoes as a food source. Also, both male and female (but mostly male) mosquitoes can pollinate some plants, but with the possible exception of some small bog orchids (see http://www.borealforest.org/herbs/herb28.htm), I am unaware of any plant species that are dependent on mosquitoes for pollination. A world without mosquitoes therefor would not appear much different than what we see today. In my opinion, the biggest likely difference would be an  increase in human and other mammal populations in areas currently ‘off limits’ because of mosquito-borne diseases.

AHA!  Written proof that the world would be a better place without mosquitoes.  Err… or maybe not.  I don’t know if a larger population would make for a better earth, but for the sake of proving my point, lets just say that it is.

Related posts:

1. The Mosquitoes Won
2. The Single Bed Solution
3. It’s a Small World After All…

So, now I’ll have to wait until the sun starts coming up and I’m so tired that it doesn’t matter how much I get bitten, I’ll just sleep through it. I shouldn’t complain too much though… I’ve made it this far into the summer without much problem. Thank god for the few weeks of cool, non mosquito-friendly weather we had the last while.

Related posts:

1. Another one bites the dust! .. or four!
2. The Single Bed Solution
3. Males and Sleeping