When I was in Canada in October I had a really long attack, lasting from 1pm – 11pm, which was horrible for me and quite worrying for my parents.  My mother insisted that I have my gallbladder checked when I got back to the Netherlands, as there was quite a broad history of the women in our family having problems and needing them removed.  We came close to going to the hospital that evening but not wanting to deal with international insurance and worrying about flying out two days later made me hesitant, so I just got through it the best way I could.

When I returned to the Netherlands I had my doctor arrange for me to have an ultrasound to check it out.  The results were that I had a lot of stones, both big and small, and that one was trapped in the bile duct.  That was on Monday November 15th. The next day I visited my doctor and was sent to have blood work, after which he said I would visit him for the results and discuss what we were going to do about the gallbladder.  I needed to give at least five working days for the results to be in so I made an appointment for Wednesday November 24th.

Before I even got the chance to go to that appointment, I had a really bad attack on Monday the 22nd.  It was unlike any of the previous pain I’ve ever had, causing me to pass out in our hallway on the way to the phone. When I came to I tried to call my husband at work but got his voicemail, and was left with no choice but to call 112 (that’s our 911).  I was in more pain than I had ever experienced in my life, and I was afraid because I was home alone.

A medic arrived shortly after, coming by motorcycle.  He checked my blood pressure and oxygen, also giving me medication for the pain and the nausea, as the pain was getting to the point where I was pretty sure I was going to be sick.  Within about five minutes the pain was gone and I was ready to get back to my housework, I felt like a million bucks!  He had other plans for me and had called a proper ambulance to come and take me to the hospital.

At the emergency room they drew more blood, poked and prodded and also came to the conclusion that it was my gallbladder.  It needed to be removed but before they could get me in to see a surgeon I had to have an ultrasound done.  The one I had done the previous week was of no use to them as it was done by another hospital, and the earliest I could get an appointment was for December 9th, over two weeks away.  I was angry, because they did have access to the previous ultrasounds, and afraid because I was now completely terrified of doing something to cause that pain again.  I was sent home with a prescription for painkillers in case of another attack, which we had to demand, as they were set to send me home with nothing other than my frustration.

I came home and once again bitched on Facebook.  As luck would have it, a friend of mine read my complaints and talked to her husband about it. It turned out he worked at the same hospital as a radiologist!  He had her message me to tell me that if I wanted he would bump up my appointment and do my ultrasound on Thursday the 25th of November during his lunch break, only three days after my trip to the emergency room.  That beat the hell out of a wait of a few weeks, so I jumped at the chance to have it done earlier.  He was my hero!

Things went really quickly from there.  When he did the ultrasound he found that there were a lot of stones (as was found in the previous scan) but also that the walls of the gallbladder were thickening.  Apparently this is another sign that it needs to come out.  Not only did he do the ultrasound for me but he also used his contacts at the hospital to get me an appointment with a surgeon that very afternoon!

When I saw the surgeon he was very nice and said that they want to get the gallbladder out soon, but that he was a bit concerned as some later tests on the blood work from my trip to the emergency room showed signs of an infection.  If the infection worsened, they would have to postpone doing any surgery until it was dealt with.  He went ahead and started me on the course anyway, and said I’d hear from him if we had to postpone, but otherwise to go ahead as planned.

The next day (Friday) I had an appointment with the anesthesiologist and my surgery was scheduled for three days later, which was this past Monday, November 29th.  It was only three days away. Three days!  I freaked out and spent the entire weekend as a big ball of nerves wrapped up in a thick layer of OHMYGOD!!!

This is where I spent most of Monday and Tuesday this week.  I was checked in at 11am and my surgery began at a little after 3pm.  I was in a lot of pain when I woke up, and after multiple doses of painkillers I was feeling well enough to be brought back to my room at about 6pm.  My husband came to visit from about 6:30 – 8:30pm but I was so tired, nauseated and drugged up that I was not of much use to him.  He just sat by my bed and held my hand while I struggled to throw out a few words every 15 or 20 minutes.  The nurses gave me medication for the nausea but I eventually asked my husband to go home as I felt bad that he was just sitting there and I was hardly able to even talk to him.

I slept most of the rest of the evening and dozed through the night, except for when the nurse came in to check my blood pressure, which felt like EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES!  Ok, so it was more like once or twice and hour, but when you are in pain and trying to sleep, it’s very annoying.  She was concerned because my blood pressure had dropped really low so she was checking it obsessively.  Seriously, twice an hour for the entire night. Both of my upper arms are striped with bruises from that UNGODLY machine.  Do those cuffs really have to go that tight?  Really??

In the morning they said I’d be able to go home at 11am, that is… until I threw up my breakfast.  That had them a little concerned, so I they made me stay and have lunch, finally letting me leave at 4pm after proving I could keep something down.

If you can excuse my chubby belly, you can see where the incisions were made for the surgery.  It was done via laparoscopic surgery rather than a proper open surgery, which makes me very happy.  Instead of one giant incision I had four smaller ones.  One of them was through my bellybutton, and that has been quite painful.  I also have some weird and painful darkening of the skin under my belly button which you can see in the photo. I guess it’s a bruise, but I’m not sure why it’s not blue.  I assume there will be scars, which means no bikini for me. OH darn!

No seriously. Dude, look at those stretch marks.  LIKE I was ever getting in one anyway.

Right, so other than having to look at my butterball belly, you’ve come through this relatively unscathed.  I cannot have that, it’s just not in my nature to go through something like this and not overshare and gross you out at least a little bit.  When I had my mini surgery, I showed you that wound.  When I had my tooth out, I saved the tooth just for you, although I did take pity that time and put the really gross and disgusting pics in links instead.  I took it easy on you.

You’re welcome.

You KNOW I got them to give me some stones!  It was the first thing I asked when they were wheeling me into surgery.  I considered bringing my point and shoot and asking them to take photos during the surgery, but I thought that may have been pushing my luck, plus… my camera is probably pretty unsanitary and I’m not sure it’d survive the decontamination process.

When I woke up this was taped to the foot of my bed, bless them, they kept their word!

These are three of the bigger stones that had been hanging out in my gallbladder.  There were a crapload of smaller ones and other big ones as well but I guess these were the most impressive and bottle worthy of the bunch.

Oh, you want a closer look? Ok!

These are my stones with a Canadian nickel, for size comparison.  It was the only money I could find in my wallet.  My husband has been a thieving thiever and has stolen all of my Dutch coins again.  Gross, huh?  Be thankful I was too lazy to get my good camera out and just used my phone, because I could have gotten some serious detail with that.

I can’t believe those, and others like them, were living inside my body!  Man!  I know it’s the smaller stones that cause the pain when they go into the bile ducts, but they wouldn’t have looked nearly as cool as these suckers, unless I got them all.  If I had gotten them all it probably would have been a pretty impressive sight.

Now I am home recovering.  I’m sore, and other than almost passing out when I had to change my bandages (hence no non-bandage photos now, really not keen to take them off again yet), it’s been going rather smoothly.  My belly button hurts and my right shoulder killed me for the first two days. Random, I know… but it’s something to do with the gas the pump into your belly when doing the surgery. It irritates the shoulder, and for the first while that hurt and annoyed me more than the incisions did.

All in all it wasn’t as bad as I expected.  I was quite terrified at the idea of my first surgery and I while can’t say I enjoyed my short stay in the hospital,  I am looking forward to the possibility of a future with no pain… at least not from this.

I wish I knew for certain that the only thing causing me pain over the years was my gallbladder, perhaps I do also have a touch of acid reflux, I really don’t know, and only time will tell.  All I know is that it would be really nice to eat without fear again.

Oh, and you know what really made me laugh?  That the doctors and nurses actually though I’d be able to speak Dutch to them when I was in pain and drugged off my head.  Come on people, I can barely manage it on my fittest of days, you must be joking!  Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t come out of there minus a kidney or missing a limb, who knows what I probably agreed to!  Maybe I should have my friend give me another ultrasound, just to make sure everything is where it should be!

No related posts.

I’m a little out of it at the moment but I feel like writing so I’m going to have one of those blurb moments where I just go on about whatever is on my mind.

I’m a little worried about my dad, even though my mother keeps telling me not to be.  I’m not worried in that OMG He’s gonna die!! kind of way, rather just concerned because his heart troubles continue and now he needs to have a defibrillator put in his chest in January.  It is put in the same as a pacemaker would be, only rather than keeping the rhythm like a pacemaker, the defibrillator will give him a jolt to start his heart in case it stops.  I know it’s not as scary as it sounds but he’s my dad and any operation will worry me to some extent, especially since I don’t fully trust my mom not to try to make it sound less serious than it is.  She lies with love.

I am dying to start decorating for Christmas but every year I promise myself that I will wait until December 1st. Will I make it this year?  I’m not sure.  I have a lot on my mind at the moment and it would definitely make for a good distraction.  Plus, it’s already the 24th and there’s only 30 days in this month anyway. It’s practically the first already!

When I was in Canada I got lucky and saw a bald eagle in a tree in someone’s garden.  I did not, however, see a moose that I could get a photo of.  After watching like a hawk as we drove the trails, I saw one on the side of the highway on the way to the airport to come back to Holland.  I swore, a lot.

I am in the middle of a big issue with my gallbladder.  If you are friends with me on Facebook you’ve seen me bitching and moaning about it a lot lately.  After almost three years of being told I have acid reflux, I had an ultrasound done that found that I have stones in my gallbladder with a small one in a bile duct.  I had 10 hours of pain one day while I was in Canada and was taken to the hospital by ambulance on Monday, where they told me my gallbladder needed to be removed but since I don’t have a fever or infection, that it can wait.  I’ve had attacks since but they’ve given me painkillers. Now I am trying to get it sorted as I want it out ASAP.  There are some other medical procedures I need to have done in January and I want this taken care of first.

After loads of test drives and visits to car dealerships we have finally decided on what our new lease car will be.  For months we hummed and hawed over whether we were going to go with the Toyota Prius or the New Opel Astra Turbo, which is what we have as a loaner at the moment, and love it.  In the end we liked them both the same and decided it would come down to the money.  We were fairly certain that the Prius would come out more expensive, but that turned out to not be the case.  By the time we got what we wanted (built in GPS, etc) on the Astra, it turned out that the model of the Prius that we wanted was actually cheaper AND had more included in the package.

Xander enjoyed driving them both quite a lot, but since he’s at a client that is a bit further away and is constantly getting stuck in traffic, the automatic gearshift in the Prius was looking more and more attractive.  We liked the look of them both, but also liked that the Prius had the little extras like the video parking assist in the back, the HUD (Heads Up Display) and other bits and bobs that made it unique and fun.

So even though we really love the Astra we are driving at the moment, we did end up choosing the Prius.  With the 14% tax we got more bang for our buck with this car over the Astra which was 20%.

Oh, and after our last car and our current rental both being borrrrriinnnng silver, we decided to go with something a little more fun – Barcelona RED baby!!  We are also getting it with a solar roof/sunroof, pretty sweet.  Unfortunately, it won’t be with us until around March, so we will get to spend some more time with our lovely Astra in the meantime.

Today I bought a pair of pants at the thrift shop across the street because they were cheap and they fit.  They are also a smaller size than I have worn yet, FIVE sizes smaller than what I was wearing at my top weight.  At €7,50 I was taking them no matter what they looked like, because I could GET.THEM.ON. and was so chuffed with myself.  Even though my husband told me they make my ass look funny and when I asked what he meant by funny, he said flat.  After years of an ass that left a room two minutes after the rest of me did, I certainly wasn’t deterred from buying them.  I will take flat any day.

As a celebratory gift to myself for losing 80 lbs, I bought a pair of boots.  Boots with heels.  Not overly high or skinny scary heals, but high enough thick and equally scary (if you are me) heels.  In an effort to embrace my girlie side, I decided it’s time I started wearing something other than sneakers and (don’t judge) crocs.  I’m not sure if this is just a phase, but I’m giving it a go.  I wore them to walk the dogs, and I wore them to the car dealerships today.  I only felt like I was going to twist my ankle once or twice and I didn’t either time, so I’m taking that as a good sign.  I do wonder if I will ever get used to the clomping sound as I walk.  I’m definitely not going to sneak up on anyone wearing those bastards.

The boots only go up above my ankles and I sort of hate that because my legs are still too fat for higher ones.  Even when I was thinner (I was never actually thin, just not so fat), I couldn’t wear them because I had big calves.  Mark my words, one day there will be a post of my feet in tall boots. MARK MY WORDS.

Of course, by that time they will be out of style, but at least I’ll get them on sale.

I’m still trying to make this as much of a homemade Christmas as possible but not having felt so well over the last while has really put a dent in my ‘work schedule’.  Some things probably aren’t going to get done so I will have to buy a few gifts.  It’s not too bad though as I have managed to make a fair few.

I’ve been cutting back drastically on my time on MSN Messenger and other internet stuff.  Except Facebook, I seem to spend even more time on Facebook now that I’m not chatting.  I’ll have to work on that, but it’s probably because that’s where most people contact me now.   When I was in Canada I enjoyed just being out and about and LIVING without feeling so tied to the internet, I really wanted to continue that when I got home.  It also helped that they upgraded MSN Messenger and made me hate it.  It’s the beginning of what will be a slow process of weaning myself off the internet, but I know I’ll be better for it in the end.   Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going anti-internet, I’m still a big geek… I just am tired of worrying about not being available to people or like I’m going to be out of the loop or something.  I get so much more done when I limited my time on MSN or the internet in general. SOOO MUCH MORE.  I need to try to keep getting more stuff done, which means always trying to spend less of my time online.

While I was in Canada I bought plastic weatherproofing for the windows in our flat.  I probably moaned about it a number of times on this blog, but we have HUGE windows with only single glazing and some pretty big aquariums.  In the winter we get a lot of problems with draughts and condensation.  A friend told me to try this stuff that you stick on the window frame and shrink with a hairdryer, and so far it seems to be working!  Our windows still fog up a bit in the middle but not like they used to.  We’ve (knock wood) not had any waterfalls off our windowsill so far this year.  Should save a bit of my sanity and some money too since we won’t be trying to compensate with the heat all winter.

I’m thinking of changing my 101 List to something by another name.  Maybe a Tammy-Do list?  Get it? Like a honey-do list only… whatever.  I keep coming up with things I want to add, but then it won’t be a 101 list anymore. It’ll be a 102 list, or a 134 list and that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.  So I need to change it so I can add tons of more crap I want to do at some point.  Any ideas?

Ok, I’m done.

No related posts.

Well, fun for us anyway! It’s not so fun for Christiaan Van Vuuren at the moment, as he’s been in quarantine in Sydney Hospital in Australia since the end of last year. The info as of Jan 6th from his YouTube Page:

On Wednesday the 9th December I was admitted into Sydney Hospital… It wasn’t just for my protection, but also for the protection of those around me…

I was eventually let out of hospital on the 2nd Jan, but then brought back in on the 18th Jan and diagnosed with a more serious form of TB… As a result, I have been back in quarantine since the 18th Jan, and all up now I have spent 55 days on the inside of a single room in hospital…

That is a long ass time to be stuck in a room by yourself. I thought I felt isolated until I saw his story! Obviously, living in quarantine for months at a time can do your head in and instead of climbing the walls with boredom, he’s put his time to good use by making rap videos. They are as funny as hell… especially his most recent. Check it out:

Why I love this guy:

• Who doesn’t love a fit guy with a sense of humor?
• Two words – Aussie Accent.
• He does the best Wolverine ever.
• The masticate bit almost made me wet myself I laughed so hard.
• He was nice enough to reply to my PM on Facebook and added me as a friend.
• He has nice tats (although I’m not exactly sure what they are, perhaps I’ll request close ups)
• Van Vuuren?  Oh that’s so Dutch.

Has anyone else noticed that at some points (like at about 25 seconds in the above video) he sort of looks like James Van Der Beek (Dawson Leary), only without the giant head?

I’m eagerly awaiting his next installment.  If his previous videos are anything to go by, the next one should be a riot. I do have a few suggestions on how he could improve on his act though!

• More nudity!!  (Well, if you don’t ask…)
• More imitations!  He did a pretty great Wolverine and Storm Trooper and we want more.  Might I suggest Edward from Twilight?  Lets see you sparkle Christiaan!  All you need is a mop to play Bella.  If that’s too gay, maybe he could try Neo from The Matrix or something.  If he can get a storm trooper helmet, a trench coat and shades would be a breeze.
• A shout out to his fans!!  Something like “This one goes out to all my fans, like that chick Tammy in the Netherlands!!”

I love this guy, he makes me laugh and I love that he’s making the best out of a really shitty situation.  I’d say I hope he gets well soon, but only if he promises to continue making crazy videos once he’s out.   With access to the outside world, extras and endless props, who knows what sort of hilarity he could come up with.

Anyway, keep on keepin’ on, Christiaan!

Here is how you can keep up to date with him and his journey:

Follow Fully Sick Rapper on Twitter
Fully Sick Rapper fan page on Facebook
Fully Sick Rapper on MySpace

Related posts:

1. Fun with Faela
2. Back When I Knew Everything

I know, I’m STILL going on about mosquitoes in February, but they are still causing me pain!

See, here’s what happened.  It was early September and I was laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning when I felt a mosquito bite on my back.  It was about 3am – 4am and I was not ready to wake up yet but it needed some serious scratching!  Problem was, it was in that annoying area of my back that I couldn’t reach properly… and let this be a lesson on why you shouldn’t bother trying when you aren’t fully awake.

For some reason, in my half-asleep state, I thought it would be a good idea to twist my arm and then use the pressure of my body against the bed to give it just an extra wee push so I could reach the bite to scratch it.  I know, stupid.  Thinking about it now in the mosquito free winter months it seems ridiculous, but all I can do is blame it on the yearly insanity I suffer due to these flying bloodsucking bastards.  Anyhow, I felt something get uncomfortable in my shoulder so I stopped, rolled on my back and wiggled around like a fool.  By some miracle I even managed to go back to sleep.

When I did get up I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I tried to put my bra on.  Reaching behind me to close it was pretty uncomfortable.  Then when I raised my arms to put my shirt on, yeah that hurt too.  I didn’t give it too much attention because it wasn’t major pain, just discomfort and I figured I probably slept on it badly.  It hurt right in the front where my arm attached to my body, like right in the front of my armpit almost.  Annoying.

It didn’t hurt when my arm was just hanging there, or if I moved it in moderate amounts. It just hurt when I tried to do things like put deodorant on the other side, put a shirt on, take a shirt off, pull the covers over myself in bed… that sort of stuff.  The rest of the time it was ok!

So for weeks after that it stayed at that uncomfortable stage.  I still went to aqua jogging, wanting to punch the instructor every time she had us doing things with our arms above our heads.  I noticed after that it felt a little worse, but I figured it was because it was a little sore (like the rest of me) after having a bit of a workout.

Then in December I joined a gym and on my first workout he had me on the treadmill and then was going to work my upper body.  I don’t know what the machines are called but there is one where you put your arms out at your side bent upwards at the elbow, and you need to pull the thing together in front of you. You know the one?  Well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Or maybe the straw that broke the camel’s shoulder?

Ok let’s be honest, the straw that broke the cow’s shoulder.

Anyhow, it was really strange how it felt, it was like there were gaps in my muscle.  I’d be pushing that thing together and it hurt, but at the same time it was like there were split seconds where my muscle felt like it just loosened, or let go, ugh I can’t explain it.  Sort of a stop and start feeling.  Whatever it was, I knew it couldn’t be good and the pain in my shoulder doubled, maybe even tripled, after that.

As someone who is always twisting ankles (I can’t find the posts about that, even though I’ve done it like 10 times, I know they are there!), breaking my ass, having a stomach that hates me, putting my back out, screwing up my pinkie toe, constantly getting colds and just generally being a big whiner, I sort of wanted to ignore it.  I have gotten so tired of things being wrong with me that I decided if I pretended it wasn’t there long enough, eventually it wouldn’t be.

Part of why I have been trying to lose weight is because of just that, I feel broken.  Physically, if it’s not one thing it’s another, ya know?  I have been like one of those 90 year old grannies who invites people over for tea so I can tell them about my hip surgery.  Enough already…

When I told my trainer about the pain, he pushed and dug around in my shoulder (which hurt like a bitch and even left a bruise! … but I forgive him) and then told me to get my ass to the doctor, so I did.  Then HE pushed and dug and made me move my arm in all sort of directions, which left another bruise and was lucky I hadn’t run out of forgiveness yet.

His verdict?  I’d pulled a ligament in my shoulder, I guess like I did with my toe.  Judging by where the pain is, I can only guess that it’s one of those blue ones, or maybe all of the blue ones, who knows.

Because of the problems with my stomach, he can’t give me pain killers (apparently they aggravate the whole acid situation), but he is sending me for physiotherapy, which I’ve never had before.   I have no idea how it all works, do I go in there so someone else can dig and push and test the limits of my forgiveness?  Does he massage me and make me feel better (I am hoping for this one), or does he make me do exercise?  I dunno…  What exactly do they do?

I will know in a few hours, as I have my first appointment at 2pm.  I can only assume that whatever it is he does, it will eventually make my shoulder feel better.  They wouldn’t have jobs if they weren’t doing something right.  I trust this guy though because I’ve already met him and he is REALLY nice.  I’ve been seeing him for some other things he does and I just got lucky that when I found out I needed physiotherapy that I remembered he does that too!

I do hope we are able to do something to fix it though, because the doctor told me I can’t do any exercises with my arms, which rules out returning to aqua fitness or doing any upper body workouts at the gym.   On the plus side, I’m doing tons of lower body workouts so I’ll probably have legs like rocks by the time this is all worked out! 

Related posts:

1. A World Without Mosquitoes

Today I went for my second gastroscopie and all I can say is that it wasn’t as good an experience as the first one.  Everything seemed to be following the same routine as the first time, I went in, they took my blood pressure, laid me down and gave me the drugs.  Then I was off to La La Land.

This time I paid attention when they gave me the drugs and watched the time on the monitor.  He put it in at 25 seconds and the last I remember seeing was 47.  So that stuff works pretty quickly!  I was happy to drift off knowing when I woke up I’d be in the recovery room with Xander laughing at me and my repeated conversations.  That’s not exactly how it happened though.

When I woke up I couldn’t breathe, I was gagging and people were shushing and tutting me while holding me down.  It felt like someone had their fist in my throat and between trying to breathe, trying not to gag and puking up some kind of foam or something, I was terrified!

Had I known this would happen I may have been prepared and not felt so fucked up by it, but I expected, like the last time, to wake up in another room without remembering anything that happened.  Not to wake up in the middle of it in a panic.  It was a total nightmare…  I wasn’t ready and I wasn’t really sure what was going on. 

I remember them wheeling me into the other room and Xander walking in a minute later.  When he asked how it went I just cried.  I felt ridiculous and like a total baby but it was just me and him there and I didn’t care.  It was a really shitty experience and I was totally shaken up by it.  He agreed that something wasn’t right because before I was sleepy and in and out for a while, but this time I was already awake, probably a mixture of there not being enough sedative and masses of adrenaline.   Neither of us were very happy about it but he just sat there and let me cry it out, and then we waited until I could leave.

I came home and the adrenaline wore off quickly, I stumbled my way to bed and crashed for over three hours.  Now I’m awake and I my throat feels like someone has been punching it from the inside, not raw but swollen and it hurts to swallow.   I hope to god I never have to have this done again.

On the plus side, in true Tammy style, I made sure I didn’t leave without a little keepsake for my blog!!

Look ma!  No food!

Yeah, that’s my stomach, pretty gross huh!  Oh please, you should know me better than to think I wouldn’t post something like this if I had the chance!

When the doctor gave me the photo I asked her if there was anything wrong, she said for the most part things looked ok but there is inflammation in my stomach and they aren’t sure what the cause is.  So they took a few biopsies and we’ll have the results of the tests then.

So, now all I can do is wait and hope to god I never, for as long as I live, have to have this procedure done again.  Ever.

I wish I’d asked for a photo of the last time when there was still food in there, oh man that would have been awesome!  Gross… but awesome!

Related posts:

1. Gag Me!
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Actually, no… don’t!

A week from today I have my 2nd appointment for a Gastroscopy, not fun.  It goes a little something like this…

I just had it done on the 18th, and you’d think once would be enough but please… this is me we’re taking about.  It goes without saying that my body will play evil tricks on me that make me want to dress myself in cement shoes and throw me in a river.  

When I visited the first time I did just as they said, no food after midnight the previous evening (I didn’t eat after 6pm just to be extra good!), no food in the morning, and so on.   I was nervous because I was going to be sedated, which has never happened, but it was better than the alternative.   The alternative being held down while the people shove this thing down your throat.  Sorry, but… no.

So I get there, they try really hard to talk me out of the sedation because apparently the Dutch, being the hardcore mofos that they are, take it without being sedated at all.  Yeah, they also pull teeth without freezing.  That makes them crazy, not me. 

Long story short… they sedate me, I wake up, and Xander is there.  Apparently, we had the same conversation numerous time, which was quite amusing for him.   This is his version:

T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:45, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. I think I am ready to go home now"
T: Zzzzzzz

<2 mins later>
T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:50, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. Can I go home now?"
T: Zzzzz

<2 mins later>
…..

I don’t remember so I don’t really care.   He took this photo of me, which he –says- I asked him to take ’for my blog’, I’m not so sure, I mean seriously?

He should have known better… but, then again I just put it on here for the whole world to see, so maybe I really did say it after all.  Perhaps I should get my head checked next time I’m there, just to see if I have any of my marbles left. 

You know what bothers me most about this photo?  It’s not how fat I am, or how horrible my face looks when I’m sedated, or even the state of my hair.  It’s that pad they put under my face.  It reminds me of one of those pads you buy for puppies to pee on, which makes me wonder what exactly they were expecting to come out of my face.  Was that really necessary?

I want those drugs again because at that moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.

Anyhow, you are probably wondering why, if I’ve obviously already had the procedure, am I having it done again so soon?  That’s where the evil body tricks come in.   Even though I fasted for like SIX WHOLE FREAKIN HOURS longer than what was asked of me, I still had food in my stomach when they went in with the scope.  She could even tell my husband what I had for dinner the night before… nice.

The reason I had to go in the first place was because of all the problems I’ve had over the past few years with acid reflux, and after two different medications the doctor has decided it’s time to go in, check things out and take some biopsies of my stomach.

Needless to say, the doctor wasn’t expecting to go in and see what was left of my fajitas!  I guess it’s not a good thing when your body digests that slowly, maybe that’s why I’m fat!

Shut up and leave me alone, I’ll take any excuse I can get.

Now I have to go back again on the 2nd, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any more fun… I now have to fast the ENTIRE DAY before my appointment.  So my dinner on Monday will be the last thing I eat until my lunch on Wednesday.   All I can have are drinks and clear soup, not even the little bits in the soup, just the broth.

I am going to be the pyscho hungry bitch from hell!  How much do you want to bet that Xander “has to work in the office” that day?

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This summer has been pretty meh weather-wise but has been great in pretty much every other way.   My best friend Penny has been house-sitting in town for the past 5-6 weeks, which means she is an hour closer than her usual stomping grounds in Roosendaal.   So we’ve been trying to see each other as often as possible, getting together for girlie afternoons, movies, BBQ’s, and all that fun stuff.  It’s made the summer so much more fun, I hope they go there every summer!

Last night five of us girls got together and went out to Bennie Beer (not beer as in the drink, it’s Dutch for ‘bear’) for dinner, which was really yummy.   We also pondered how they manage to keep the place clean with so many stuffed bears everywhere.  They have to get seriously dusty.   The food is good though so we overlooked it.  They are a chain of restaurants that specialize in ribs, but I had a steak instead, which was good but definitely on the rare side of medium.  A little more rare than I usually like it.

After dinner we went bowling at a new place called Atoll Rotterdam, it was the most posh bowling ally I’ve ever been to, if it’s even possible!  I really like it there though, the atmosphere was great and the girls and I had a really great time.   I did find their whole system sort of weird though.  When you go in you get a card and everything is charged to that, and you are also obligated to order a drink.  How bizarre!  Like, if you want to go bowling you MUST buy a drink or you aren’t allowed to bowl.   Odd.   I did really badly on the first game, my score was pretty much half of everyone else’s.  Then I got better and actually won the 3rd one!

errr… I did break my ass in the process though.   It was like “Ooooh, this is fun!” and a little while later “OMG MY ASS HURTS!”.   Yeah, I mean we all should have known better than to think I could do something with heavy balls and physical activity without pulling some muscle or another… but, my ass?!  Ugh.  It hurts to sit.

It also hurts to stand, lay down, bend over…

Oh well, at least my ass held out until the very end of the evening before giving out on me.  So I got to enjoy myself for most of it!  I’ll live.  Although I’m not sure how the heating pad is going to jive with the 30 degree weather we are expecting today!

In other news, Project Fatass lives on!  I decided when I began that I wasn’t going to blog about it until I was well on my way with it this time.  I’ve written too many times during the 0-20 pounds lost period, who wants to keep hearing about that.  Each time I started and gave up and I figured if I was going to suck at it again this time, I wasn’t going to share it.

Remember this guy?  Well, this is roughly how much I am down to date.  That is my 25 pound fish and I am down 24.5 lbs as of this week.

I don’t know why I always compare my weight loss to fish, but it works.  Look how heavy it looks for him to hold it, that’s how much less weight I’m carrying around.

Plus, it’s easier than finding photos of 25 sticks of butter.

I hope to one day lose a whale’s worth.

Since early June, I have been following the Weight Watchers system here in NL.  It all started out when my mother (who has lost somewhere between 80-100 lbs over the last number of years) told me that she has been using WW to lose the last bit of weight she was trying to get off, and how much she loved it.  I didn’t really feel ready for it when she first brought it up to me, I listened but felt quite ‘meh’ about the whole thing.   Then, after months of avoiding it, I got on the scale.   Let’s just say, what I saw shocked me into submission and I let her teach me the ways of the Weight Watchers.

I found it difficult trying to follow the Canadian system when I eat mostly Dutch products, so after speaking with a friend here in NL who uses their system and her kindly giving me her login info for the website, I decided to sign up myself.   I don’t go to meetings but I am using the online program to track what I eat, my weight, and exercise.   I thought it might get annoying as it’s all in Dutch but I’m not really bothered.   It’s pretty easy to use and since it has most Dutch food products in the list, it makes it a lot easier to keep track of what I am eating.

So, I’m not going to make any grand speeches about how this is going to be the time I finally get all this weight off, but I really like this system and am doing my best to try to see it through to the end.  Not sure if I will write about it a lot but we’ll see.  I will update about the milestones though, at least.

Hubby is also trying to watch what he eats as he’s been getting a little pot belly over the last year or so.   He’s always been a total beanpole but I guess the mid 30’s are catching up with him and his metabolism is changing or something.

Anyhow, there are a few other things I plan to write about in a bit, like Pixel’s first plucking and our camping adventures but I’d like to give them updates of their own.   So I’ll write about that later.

All in all though, it’s been a good summer so far.   We’ve been spending time with friends, having fun, enjoying the sunshine when it’s here and also enjoying when it’s not.   I am happy, hubby is happy and our families are all healthy and happy.  What more could you ask for out of a summer?

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Bailey in his Medical Pet Shirt, so much nicer than a big ugly cone!

Sunday  night Xander and I went out with the dogs at about 10pm.  As we were walking along Xander was telling me how he met up with a guy a few nights ago with two big Staffordshire’s off their leashes, and when Xander reminded him about the leash law the guy told him off. Then he was telling me how dangerous it is because if one of those dogs ever got a hold of a smaller dog, the dog would be dead, as they have such strong jaws.

I shit you not.  No sooner did he get the words out of his mouth than around the corner comes this GIANT Rottweiler barreling towards us.  It all happened so fast it’s a blur; the dog ran up, grabbed Bailey in his jaws and started shaking him around like a rag doll.  It was a NIGHTMARE! The words Xander said were still fresh in my mind and I thought oh my god, I’m watching my dog get KILLED!!! I don’t remember being that frightened in a long time, it was so scary!

Xander managed to get a hold of Bailey and the owner of the other dog (a young white guy probably in his mid to late 20′s) grabbed a hold of his dog and they managed to get them apart. Xander picked up Bailey and his stomach was all full of blood, and that was it, I totally lost my shit and started screaming at the guy and didn’t stop for about 10 minutes.  He kept trying to get us to calm down but we were losing it.  I mean it’s the LAW here in the Netherlands that dogs must be on leashes at all times, unless they are in designated enclosed dog parks. I honestly don’t know what the guy was thinking, I mean a ROTTWEILER, of all dogs, to have off its leash!

Anyhow, after we were done screaming, swearing and threatening to call the police, we parted ways with the guy.  We then went to the playground on the corner where I stayed with the dogs while Xander ran into the house to grab his mobile. We phoned the police and were waiting for them to arrive when the guy came over to talk to us. After we had all calmed down he was very apologetic and we were calmer and able to talk to him without swearing at him.  In the end we decided we couldn’t wait any longer for the police and the guy took Xander and Bailey to the vet and I went home with Pixel, as she hadn’t stopped yelping the entire time and was waking the neighbours.

Bailey is fine, he has a bunch of stitches in his belly and is quite sore and not really himself today, but he is going to be ok.  The guy stayed with Xander at the vet and paid all the bills (approx 220 Euro in all) and Xander lectured him a lot on why he should keep his dog on a leash at all times. I’m really hoping he learned his lesson. We decided in the end not to contact the police, but we will if we ever see him again with the dog off its leash.

I still can’t get the vision of Bailey in that dog’s jaws being flung around like that out of my head. I felt so frigging helpless and was sure that dog was going to kill him. 

Pixel doesn’t leave Bailey’s side for a minute.

It’s so interesting to see how the dogs react to one another.  Normally at different times of the day, Pixel becomes a major pest and won’t leave Bailey alone until he plays with her.  Yesterday, he was very sore and tired and spent the bulk of the day asleep on the sofa but Pixel stayed close by him without bothering him at all.  It was so sweet. 

I’m just glad he’s going to be ok and that it’s all over.  The guy obviously thought that his dog was well trained and friendly, and she was.  The problem is that Bailey was on his leash and doesn’t like other dogs at the best of times.  A leashed dog is always going to feel more defensive than one that is free.  So when the dog came running at him, I think initially she just wanted to play, but when Bailey got frightened he went into a defensive stance and then the fight was on. 

We tried to get it through to the guy that while his dog may be very well trained, he can’t always account for how other dogs are going to react, so he should always take care to make sure he never ends up in this situation again.  Not just because of the other dogs, but at some point if this were to continue happening, he would be forced to give up his dog and I’m sure he doesn’t want that.

He was a nice guy though, he just underestimated what his dog was capable of and was careless.  It could have gone much worse than it did and at least he owned up to it and took responsibility for what happened.  We have to at least give him credit for that.

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On Sunday Xander and I went to the Biesbosch in Brabant, just south of here.  It’s quite lovely around there with lots of water and nature.  There are boats you can rent to see the area from a different perspective and lots of trails for biking and hiking.   We drove around the area for a few hours, stopping every so often for me to take some photos, and I got so excited about the beautiful weather and being out in it that I suggested we turn off the airco and drive with the windows down.

Big mistake…

It wasn’t long before Xander was almost in convulsions from his allergies.  He told me he is allergic to nature and thinks we should go home.  So, we went home, but it was still a lovely day out together and we will try to visit again soon.

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Ok, so as I mentioned in my post about my latest visit to the Doc the one thing he did agree to do was to send me to get x-rays of my foot.   I’d stepped on one of the dogs toys months ago and my foot has been bothering me since.  After squeezing around my pinky toe for a while and hitting the right spot, he pretty much had to peel me off the ceiling.  His opinion was that since there was nothing broken and it being so tender in that one particular spot, that I injured the joint and it was getting inflamed.   He gave me a shot of cortisone into the joint in hopes that it would give the joint a chance to heal.  If it isn’t feeling significantly better after two weeks, he will give me a follow up shot to give it some more time.

Now for the interesting part.  While I was there to get the shot, which I had been DREADING as I didn’t want to see him again after my previous experience, he asked if I had a chance to think about our conversation.   I told him that I had thought about it and that I didn’t agree with him.  I basically explained what I said in my post where I explained it here.

I think he must have either been feeling bad, or maybe his wife (partner in the practice and the doctor I see most often) gave him a kick in the arse.   In any case he was much more friendly and seemed to think that we had some kind of miscommunication.   In the beginning I was of the opinion that I couldn’t really imagine what miscommunication would make a doctor say something like that, but I shut up and listened to him.

He had us in his office for 30-40 minutes talking and sort of hashing it all out, and in the end he sent me for blood work to check my cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, kidney and liver.  I have to phone on Monday to find out the results of those.

He is also giving me a referral to see a dermatologist that specializes in hair loss, which makes me very happy.  My hair has been thinning out quite drastically over the past 3-4 years (especially around the crown) and it’s gotten to the point where I’m completely paranoid and angry about it.  Also frustrated by the fact that nobody would or could help me.   I’m hoping that this doctor will at least be able to stop it from falling out more, even if they can’t make what is gone grow back.   When I was having the fertility issues my gynecologist sent me to a dermatologist at the same hospital where she was, but all he did was look at my head and say “Yes, you are losing your hair.”  Well, no shit Sherlock!   He said there was nothing he could do, didn’t explain why it was falling out or if it would continue to do so.   Hopefully the new dermatologist will have the answers to those questions… please keep your fingers crossed for me with that!

So, that’s the update on my doctor situation.  I don’t know if I caught him on a bad day the last time or what, but it was a total turnaround when I saw him on Thursday.   My crappy appointment was at 4:40pm on a Friday, so maybe that had something to do with it.   I got him at the very end of his week and he was in a crappy mood?  Not really an excuse for such insensitive treatment but I guess we all have our moments.

I was told (by my therapist after explaining the episode at the doctor) that it’s possible to have more than one doctor, and that it’s entirely up to me who I see for what issues.  So while I am going to give my current doctors another chance, I may still look into this International clinic in Den Haag.   I’m quite curious to see what their opinion would be on our fertility issues.

I’ll keep ya’s posted!

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