Canadutch » Winter

Pea Soup Sunday

Breigh — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 07:47:04 +0000

Last Sunday I posted about the foggy weather and sure enough, it’s the same this week, another Pea Soup Sunday! I guess it could be worse, it could be pouring down rain, or freezing but still… I could use a little sunshine again!

I get the feeling we are in for a rather long and dreary winter in the Netherlands this year, which is a bit sad after the dreary summer we had.

On the upside, it’s less than two weeks until I get to start decorating for Christmas, and you KNOW how much I love Christmas!!!

So, About That Spring Thing…

Breigh — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:47:27 +0000

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I took photos of a beautiful sunset seen from our back balcony? How did we go from that, with all it’s springy hopefulness, to this?

Yeah, that’s snow.

In Rotterdam…

It’s almost March, for pity sake!

Not that it stops the neighbourhood children from playing outside. Oh, to be a kid again when nothing gets between you and the outdoors!

I’ll stay inside where it’s warm and cozy, thanks!

Yup, definitely snow…

Nothing came of it though, as I write this the snow has stopped and you’d never even know it was here.

This made me sad. I remember when the most beautiful red flowers grew in this basket. I also remember yesterday when it was sunny and bright. This? It doesn’t say spring to me at all!

I’m over snow. I know I’ll probably get excited next winter but for this year, my infatuation with the white stuff is over.

I want flowers, sunshine and leaves on the trees… NOW, dammit!

A Little Photosynthesis

Breigh — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 11:05:24 +0000

Yesterday was the crappiest day I’ve had in a long time. I was feeling really down and frustrated because of some personal things going on and the bulk of my day was spent inside, with random crying jags and just generally feeling shit. A friend said to me on Facebook to remember that tomorrow is another day, and I tried to remember that when I went to bed last night.

He was so right!

I don’t think there is any way for me to describe how much of a difference some sunshine makes in my life!

This morning Xander and I went for a nice long walk with the dogs, for a little photosynthesis, as he called it. He knows how drastically my mood changes when I get out in the sunlight, so I was glad when he asked if I wanted to go out for a walk. He grabbed the dogs, I grabbed my camera and off we went.

The sun was shining bright and the longer I was out there the better I felt. Unlike yesterday, which was dark and dreary and did nothing at all to lift my mood. In fact, I’m pretty sure it made it even worse.

I love walking with Xander and the dogs. We talk and spend time together which we often sort of forget to do when we are home and both doing our own thing.

Seeing little shots of green in amongst the bare branches, and stems of the Narcissen starting to pop up in the grass gives me hope. The kind of hope that only people in the Netherlands and other such winter-dreary countries would understand…

SPRING IS COMING!!

I’m Sorry, Did You Not Get The Memo?!

Breigh — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:33:12 +0000

Dear Mother Nature,

What’s with the snow? I woke up this morning and this is what I saw out my dining room window. I must say, I was somewhat confused. It would appear that there has been some sort of miscommunication here. I SAID winter was over for the year, remember? Spring is coming, winter is over, there will be no more snow. Did you not get the memo? I said I DECIDED dammit! Did someone not pass along the message? I mean, I assumed you had been reading my blog, so… what’s with the power trip?

I know you probably feel threatened with me pwning the hell out of your seasons and all, but this is no way for a mother to behave… Thankfully, the snow did not accumulate and it’s as though it never happened. I will let it go this once and assume that you did indeed not get the memo. I think you need to fire your assistant.

Please don’t let it happen again.

Kind regards,
Tammy in Rotterdam

The View From Up Here

Breigh — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:13:16 +0000

Tonight when I was getting ready to make dinner I saw a beautiful amber colored glow in our dining room. I looked out to see what was happening outside and saw the sun setting behind our building. I know when I start seeing the lovely gold and purple sunsets that spring is well on it’s way. I ran to get my camera before the sun went down and managed to snap a few shots.

When I took the photo off the camera and looked at it, I felt like it was playing mind tricks on me. I know the view from where I took the photo. It’s from my balcony, overlooking the houses and trees behind us. Still, when I looked at the photo I saw another view. As though I was standing up on a hill looking down over water with small islands or shadows from the clouds and the reflection of the sun. Do you see it?

I like that I managed to capture the birds without meaning to and that a view I see every day can somehow make me see something else in a photo.

Spring is coming, I hope you’re ready! Every year it’s winter one day and spring the next, or it feels that way anyway. It’s going to happen any day now, I can feel it!

Kicking Winter’s Ass

Breigh — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:31:40 +0000

Over the years I’ve had a lot of issues with seasonal depression. Not something I’ve ever suffered from in Canada, but it hit me quick and hard here in the Netherlands. I wasn’t expecting it but it happened, and it continued to happen for the past 10 years. Granted, for the first half of that time I was often quite depressed during the rest of the year as well, but it always got much worse during the winter.

Each year I’d fall head over heels in love with autumn but at the same time I’d be dreading the winter. Cold, dark, dreary, wet… those were the things that would come to mind. My desire to stay indoors would be stronger than ever. I’d often lose touch with the people I made the attempts to be friends with over the summer, and no matter what strides I’d made over the sunny months I’d end up hating the Netherlands fiercely.

I’d look out the window and see what you see in the photo above. I took that in January of 1996 at lunch time. Weather like this can really take it’s toll after a month or two. It’s not bright enough to be a lovely daytime, not dark enough to be a cosy night time feel. Just dreary.

There were also other things playing a role in how I felt. I didn’t just feel bad about the weather and being away from my family, but I felt bad about myself too. I hated a lot of things about my personality, I hated that as each winter came around I was getting fatter and fatter, and I hated that I was one of those people who complained about all those things and did nothing about them. I was a victim. I allowed myself to be a victim.

Some years were better than others, but there always came a point where I crashed and when I did, I crashed hard. Each time it happened it chipped a little more away at me, making me feel like a failure and a loser who couldn’t seem to cope. Which made it even more difficult the following year.

This year I knew I had to do things differently. I couldn’t wait for it to magically change, and if anything was going to change it had to be within me. I decided I wasn’t going to be a victim of myself anymore and created a different path for going into winter. I knew I was going to have to work hard to get through it and for the first time realized that I do have some control over it. Even though I always thought I was trying, I wasn’t really… and the winter always won.

This year… I was determined to make winter my bitch.

I had already started losing weight, something I’ve attempted many other winters, but this time around I took steps to make sure I didn’t quit.

I joined a gym and I told people about it. I wanted them to ask me if I’m still going so that I’d not want to say I gave up. I got a trainer who asks me where the hell I’ve been if he hasn’t seen me for a while.
I got a life coach who is awesome and helps me learn more and more about myself and why I often seem to be my own worst enemy. He’s helping me find the tools within myself to change it and be a better person.
I stuck with Weight Watchers so that I have somewhere to be accountable to for what I eat. My best friend joined with me and I know that once a week she’s going to say “How was your weigh in?”. I’m glad, because it makes me want to have something good to tell. We can also motivate each other and help each other push through what ordinarily would be a time we’d both want to curl up with a blanket and some chocolate.
I’ve started trying new things with food. Different recipes that partially replace some of the things I love (like pasta) with vegetables to lower the point value and give me a more well balanced diet.
I’m not denying myself the things I love, like chocolate, McDonalds or potato chips. Instead I’m learning portion control and how to fit them into my life in a healthy way that won’t stand in the way of my goals. Weight Watchers helps a lot with this and instead of feeling like I’m on a diet, I feel like I’m learning to eat like a normal person.

I’ve also realized that when I feel that familiar feeling, where I get grumpy and my patience grows thin, to get out and do something. Even if it’s going to the supermarket, a walk with the dogs or going to take photos of something. If it gets me out and gives me something nice to think about it can squash those negative feelings that often take over during the winter.

I’ve worked on mending relationships that had been broken in the past, which is something that has always weighed heavily on me. I am aware that I can be difficult but deep down I hate not getting along with people and when there is conflict it eats away at me. I much prefer sorting things out, having good relationships and having things to look forward to.

Instead of thinking about what I’m missing back home, how much I hate the weather (which I still do, mind you), or what little thing is bugging me at the moment, I find other things to think about. If something is getting me down, I start making plans for our summer holidays. If I feel my mood start to darken, I find something to look forward to…even if it’s just a movie with a friend or going out for dinner with my husband.

Surrounding myself with positive people has helped a lot. I have friends who speak more Dutch than me, are more integrated than me, have more hobbies than me and who are more active than me. They inspire me to do better. I used to want friends who could relate, who felt the same negative feelings I felt that I could complain with. Now I know that was the wrong way to go. While I do love having friends who understand me and that we can be there for each other when we are feeling down, having friends who make you want to do better in life is healthier. Having friends who are negative and try to pull you down with them is never good when you are in a situation where you are trying to better your quality of life. I want friends who challenge me, pull me out of my comfort zone and help me continue to get better. I also hope that I can do the same for them and bring something positive to their lives when I can. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends with people who are struggling. In fact, having been there and understanding it, I’d want to try to help in any way I can. What I don’t want is people who try to pull me back down into that negative place with them. No more than I would ever want to pull my friends down with me.

Keeping busy has made a huge difference and I have my friends and my husband to thank for that as well. Not only are they happy to do things with me but they understand that while there is big improvement, I’m not fully there yet and they may have to give me a gentle (or sometimes not so gentle.. Penny: get to the gym you’ll be glad you did later. Heather: photo club, quit being a whiney ass and go) nudge to get me going. I love them for that.

I have ‘go to things’ for what to do when I know I’m in danger of my winter blues, even if it’s just something that takes 5 minutes, it can often brighten my mood considerably.

Getting out taking photos
Chatting with my mom on the phone
Housework. I know this sounds insane but I get a weird peace of mind when I get things tidy. This isn’t my first choice of course, but I do go there from time to time.
Playing with the dogs. Their joy brings me joy.
Looking up a new recipe to try.
Going out to the shops and buying something cheap but fun. Like a cheap bracelet, lip gloss or some nail polish. This works doubly because I’ve found that actually taking the effort to try to look good (which I never bothered with before, I couldn’t be arsed) makes me FEEL good too. These little bits help a lot.
Going to the gym. Again, not my first choice but I often feel so much better afterwards.
Chatting with friends. Whether it’s Penny and I talking about our next girlie night or motivating each other to keep going with our diets, Heather and I chatting about her next project or photography, hearing about Paule and Alan’s latest adventures or me and Matt bitching about Jersey Shore… having friends to talk to and laugh with is one of my favorite things.
Cuddling with my husband. He makes me laugh. When we curl up in bed for a nap on a cold winter afternoon, we always end up in fits of laughter before we ever get to sleep. Instead of crawling into bed feeling depressed and waking up worse, I go to sleep giggling and wake up happy.
Creating something. When I make something and see a finished product, I smile. Whether it’s a cross stitch, a quilt, or something for my blog, it doesn’t matter. Last month I spent days tweaking code and getting the new theme ready for the blog. It kept me busy, I learned a lot and the end results made me happy.
Trying new things. This winter I made a point of getting out and doing things I wouldn’t have ordinarily done. Like going to the boekenfestijn for the first time, seeing my first musical in Dutch, my first visit to the Rotterdam Film Festival or trying something new with my camera. I’m getting out there and doing something rather than sitting home feeling sorry for myself because I never bothered.

So, it’s now getting on to the end of February, a time when I’m normally at my worst, and this year I feel great. I’ve got good friends, a great family, holidays to look forward to this year and more and more plans to get out and try new things. It feels pretty damn good.

I’m also getting smaller every day. I’ve now lost 49 pounds and am desperate to be able to say I’ve lost 50 pounds. That won’t be the end of my weight loss journey but 50 pounds will be a great milestone for me. This is the most weight I’ve ever lost, and I now weigh less than I have in over 5 years.

I’ve stood up to the winter blues that terrorize so many people here, and I’ve kicked it’s ass. If you are here in the Netherlands, or anywhere really, and are going through the same thing… it can get better. It’s not easy, and no pill or person saying “You should…” will make a difference. One thing I hated more than anything when I was in the depths of my depression, was someone saying that only you have the power to change it. It made me want to cut people. It’s true though and as much as it sucks to hear, and as hard as it is to make the first steps, you can make the difference. The winter blues may never go away fully, and like me, you may always have that feeling of it nipping at your heels… but all you have do is outrun it or turn around and kick it in the teeth. Find out what makes you happy and put all your energy into that. Show winter who wears the pants in this country!

Now that I’ve taken care of the winter blues, I’m gonna to make that 1 pound my bitch too.

Making The Best Of The Snow

Breigh — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:14:25 +0000

This lady definitely made the best of the recent snow here in Rotterdam. When we saw her coming we initially thought she had a kid in the sled, but when she got up close we realized it was her groceries. We told her how clever we thought it was and she said she figured if she had to drag it home after dropping her kid off at school, she may as well put it to good use!

Even the hardcore snow lovers like me are getting tired of the snow here in the Netherlands, though we don’t get nearly as much as in other countries. It’s great in the beginning because it reminds me of home and usually comes before Christmas so it gets me really wound up and excited about the holiday season. The down side is that what you see in this photo is considered a lot of snow here. We never get that real winter wonderland that I remember in Canada. It’s white for a day or two and then it’s just slippery, slushy and patchy. The first snow is awesome, the second snow is exciting… after that, I’m over it. It doesn’t help that this country isn’t prepared for it so everything goes tits up. Trains don’t run, people aren’t experienced with winter driving and are nervous, which can get dangerous. The kind of snow that we get here that hardly covers your shoes is more dramatic than the snow that has you crawling out windows to shovel doors free in Canada.

So when it snowed again on Tuesday I was unhappy. I figured I could sit at home and grump about it or get out and try to enjoy it. Like this lady I decided to make the best of it. Xander and I bundled up, we got the dogs ready, grabbed my camera and went out for a nice long walk.

It’s amazing how long you can walk in the cold with a camera in your hands!

Get It Off! Get It Offfff!

Breigh — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:04:51 +0000

Pixel loves the snow. When we take her out in it she sniffs around, pushes it with her nose, digs in it and runs around like someone put a firecracker up her arse. It’s a very exciting time for her!

When we first got her she hated being outside if it was anything other than warm summer weather. Taking her out for a walk on a rainy day was more like taking her for a drag. She’d dig her heels in, whine and protest the entire way. She behaved quite the same once the cold winter weather hit, acting like a total diva the whole time, as though she wasn’t born with fur coat to keep her warm! Then the snow came, and suddenly being outdoors wasn’t so bad after all. So fickle, our dear Pixel.

She’s not too keen on having it on her though. If you kick a bit of snow on her she’ll shake until her eyes wobble to get it off. I guess we shouldn’t press our luck. Having her out there without complaining is great, but she makes it perfectly clear that it’s on her terms and the kicking of snow will not be tolerated.

101 List – Kinderdijk in the Winter

Breigh — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:51:08 +0000

This morning we woke up to a bit of snow in the Netherlands. At 10am my husband and I hopped in the car and set off to Kinderdijk! I’ve been there a number of times, the first time back in 2007 with the girls, then in 2008 with my parents and also once or twice with my husband.

I’ve been wanting to visit Kinderdijk during winter and hoped that I’d be able to get some photos of people ice skating there this year, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen. I thought since we’re coming up to February soon I should take the chance to get some shots of Kinderdijk in the snow while I can. I’m glad we went as early as we did because by the time we left it was already starting to melt.

Another reason I wanted to go was because taking photos of Kinderdijk in the winter was on my 101 list. Although I’ve taken a lot of photos of Kinderdijk and windmills, I wanted to try to capture it in the winter as well. I felt like I’ve done the windmill photos so much already that I tried to get photos of other things while still showing where I was. The windmills are still there, they just aren’t always the main focus of the photos. I took quite a few but will try to just show a few favorites so it doesn’t take you two years to load this.

For more of my photos of Kinderdijk from today and my other visits, click here

Snowball Fight

Breigh — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:05:27 +0000

This little girl took great joy in pounding her father with giant snowballs yesterday. He was a really good sport about it, and I thought that was really cool, because he looked like he was freezing his arse off. It was nice to see all my neighbours out, not just the children but the parents too. It appears that in the Netherlands you really can never outgrow the fun of a good old fashioned snowball fight!