Canadutch

Hello Oprah? Have I Got A Show For You!

Breigh — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:46:35 +0000

Remember years ago when I posted about Fox News trashing the Netherlands? Then later about the Dutchie’s response to the ridiculous babblings of Bill O’Reilly? I don’t think it’s any secret that I think Bill O’Reilly is a complete douche, nor do I think it’s an unpopular opinion. He’s a blow hard who hears nothing but his own voice, and it infuriates me when he mouths off about the Netherlands.

Today I watched the above video and the first thing I thought was, SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE has got to get this guy on a show to face off with Bill O’Reilly! That is, if Bill would let him get a word in edgewise. From what I can tell, his tactic is to just speak over and interrupt anyone who happens to make an ounce of sense.

Like how he tried to squash the points this teenager made when standing up to Bill about his own hypocrisy. Not that it worked, anyone could see that this kid does his homework.

Anyway, I think Judge Gray makes some very valid points in regards to drugs and how to properly deal with them, marijuana especially. In the end of the video he comments on the Netherlands and how they’ve dealt with it over here, quoting the Minister of Health of the Netherlands as saying “We have succeeded in making pot boring”. It’s true! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, and anyone who lives here will agree: It’s not the Dutch that are keeping the coffee shops in business here, it’s the tourists.

I think seeing this guy and Bill O’Reilly together somewhere on neutral ground would be fantastic. Not only would Bill be matched (who are we kidding, far outweighed) in intelligence and knowledge of the actual facts, but I don’t think Judge Gray is someone who would allow himself to be bullied.

Such a pity it will never happen. I should write a letter to Oprah… or, since this is Bill O’Reilly we’re talking about, perhaps I should contact Jerry Springer instead.

By the way, if you enjoy watching Bill get owned as much as I do, there is an entire playlist dedicated to it on YouTube.

I’m Sorry, Did You Not Get The Memo?!

Breigh — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:33:12 +0000

Dear Mother Nature,

What’s with the snow? I woke up this morning and this is what I saw out my dining room window. I must say, I was somewhat confused. It would appear that there has been some sort of miscommunication here. I SAID winter was over for the year, remember? Spring is coming, winter is over, there will be no more snow. Did you not get the memo? I said I DECIDED dammit! Did someone not pass along the message? I mean, I assumed you had been reading my blog, so… what’s with the power trip?

I know you probably feel threatened with me pwning the hell out of your seasons and all, but this is no way for a mother to behave… Thankfully, the snow did not accumulate and it’s as though it never happened. I will let it go this once and assume that you did indeed not get the memo. I think you need to fire your assistant.

Please don’t let it happen again.

Kind regards,
Tammy in Rotterdam

Basking Beauties

Breigh — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:32:53 +0000

Spencer’s not the only one to enjoy the sun that comes into our living room in the morning these days. The dogs have taken to lazing around in it as well.

As promised, Rotterdam didn’t see any snow this weekend! It’s still sunny and beautiful just like I planned. Only 13 days now until the official start of Spring (March 20). I think winter is officially over… I made it!

I Can Finally Say It!!

Breigh — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:08:07 +0000

I HAVE LOST 50 POUNDS!!!

Of course, like 19 and 25 lbs on my last attempt, and my recent 30 lbs this must be celebrated with a fish! This fish weighs exactly 50 lbs 2 oz, which is how much I have lost as of this morning! What a relief! I was beginning to think that pound was never going to go.

You know what else weighs 50 lbs?

The average Siberian Husky. How freakin’ beautiful are they? Gawd…

Almost this many sticks of butter. This is 208 sticks, I have lost 200 sticks worth of butter… imagine carrying that up three flights of stairs to your apartment! That’s a lot of butter!

You get the point.

Now I just have to do it twice more… Oh how daunting! I so look forward to the day I get to post that 150 pound fish though. For now, I’ll make the push to 60. Baby steps!

Now I get to order my Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock t-shirt for my 50 lb reward to myself! I can’t wait! I feel like I’ve been waiting forever! The t-shirt is from The Big Bang Theory if you don’t know that already. Which you should, by the way… if you read my blog I’ve already told you numerous times to watch it. Pay attention, people!

The Sweet Spot

Breigh — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 10:14:29 +0000

It appears that I am not the only one looking forward to spring! The sun has finally started showing itself in the Netherlands again and Spencer took full advantage by finding this warm sweet spot on a shelf in our living room.

Everything seems to be starting to come to life again. I see flowers starting to poke up through the grass, the sun is coming out again and making us all feel alive and I know it’s just a matter of time before the buds are on the trees.

I read today that we are supposed to be getting snow over the weekend, but I am in complete denial. Winter is on it’s way out, and spring is coming. That’s just how it is. I’ve decided.

Lock of Love Rotterdam

Breigh — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:10:12 +0000

On February 14, 2010 (Valentine’s Day) the Lock of Love art piece was placed in Rotterdam’s popular district of Delfshaven. The Lock of Love ritual has been taking place all over the world, and is now here in Rotterdam as well. Not just a rail on a bridge or a chain around a lamppost, this work of art has love written all over it.

The story goes that if a couple brings a lock to the Lock of Love location, the love will last as long as the lock is hanging.

Yesterday Xander and I picked up a lock at our local hardware store and had it engraved. It says Xammy Forever, which is a cross of our names, Xander and Tammy. It originated with a slip of the tongue by his stepmother many years ago. When she said it we all laughed, but we ended up finding something sort of endearing about it and had Xammy Forever engraved on the inside of our wedding rings. Obviously it wasn’t hard for us to figure out what to put on the lock. I bet Jenny never would have thought that such a simple mistake would end up being something so beloved and long lasting for us.

Being one of the first ones to leave a lock we had our choice of where to put it, and we chose right in the center of the top of the heart. The lock we chose had a longer post on it so it would hang lower than the others. We thought it would also make it easier to find when we come back, as we’ll probably visit it after a year or so to see if others have joined in the tradition. After placing the lock we threw the keys in the nearby water, ensuring that our lock, and our love, will last forever.

If you want to visit and place a lock of your own, you can find the Lock of Love in Rotterdam’s Delfshaven at the address Havenstraat 53 by the Lage Erfbrug. To check for a Lock of Love location in your country or city, check the Wikipedia Page.

Who Knew Tuberculosis Could Be So Fun?!

Breigh — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:09:22 +0000

Well, fun for us anyway! It’s not so fun for Christiaan Van Vuuren at the moment, as he’s been in quarantine in Sydney Hospital in Australia since the end of last year. The info as of Jan 6th from his YouTube Page:

On Wednesday the 9th December I was admitted into Sydney Hospital… It wasn’t just for my protection, but also for the protection of those around me…

I was eventually let out of hospital on the 2nd Jan, but then brought back in on the 18th Jan and diagnosed with a more serious form of TB… As a result, I have been back in quarantine since the 18th Jan, and all up now I have spent 55 days on the inside of a single room in hospital…

That is a long ass time to be stuck in a room by yourself. I thought I felt isolated until I saw his story! Obviously, living in quarantine for months at a time can do your head in and instead of climbing the walls with boredom, he’s put his time to good use by making rap videos. They are as funny as hell… especially his most recent. Check it out:

Why I love this guy:

Who doesn’t love a fit guy with a sense of humor?
Two words – Aussie Accent.
He does the best Wolverine ever.
The masticate bit almost made me wet myself I laughed so hard.
He was nice enough to reply to my PM on Facebook and added me as a friend.
He has nice tats (although I’m not exactly sure what they are, perhaps I’ll request close ups)
Van Vuuren? Oh that’s so Dutch.

Has anyone else noticed that at some points (like at about 25 seconds in the above video) he sort of looks like James Van Der Beek (Dawson Leary), only without the giant head?

I’m eagerly awaiting his next installment. If his previous videos are anything to go by, the next one should be a riot. I do have a few suggestions on how he could improve on his act though!

More nudity!! (Well, if you don’t ask…)
More imitations! He did a pretty great Wolverine and Storm Trooper and we want more. Might I suggest Edward from Twilight? Lets see you sparkle Christiaan! All you need is a mop to play Bella. If that’s too gay, maybe he could try Neo from The Matrix or something. If he can get a storm trooper helmet, a trench coat and shades would be a breeze.
A shout out to his fans!! Something like “This one goes out to all my fans, like that chick Tammy in the Netherlands!!”

I love this guy, he makes me laugh and I love that he’s making the best out of a really shitty situation. I’d say I hope he gets well soon, but only if he promises to continue making crazy videos once he’s out. With access to the outside world, extras and endless props, who knows what sort of hilarity he could come up with.

Anyway, keep on keepin’ on, Christiaan!

Here is how you can keep up to date with him and his journey:

Follow Fully Sick Rapper on Twitter
Fully Sick Rapper fan page on Facebook
Fully Sick Rapper on MySpace

Saturday Photo Hunt – Daily (Dog Drama)

Breigh — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:26:19 +0000

Bailey (top right) and Pixel (bottom right) peacefully engaging another dog. A rare occasion indeed!

This week’s Photo Hunt theme is Daily. One thing that is a part of our daily life, come rain or shine, is walking the dogs… and the drama that comes along with it. I snapped this photo last week while we were out for a walk in the snow, you can see my two on the right checking out this little dog we came across. Look! They aren’t even trying to kill her!

The thing about our dogs is, they are hell to walk with. As cute as they are and as much as I love them, walking them can be a nightmare at times. Not just because they both apparently consider other dog’s crap to be a delicacy, but they think they are the bees knees and any and all dogs they encounter should bow down before them.

I suppose in some way we are to blame for this. Perhaps we didn’t try training them at a young enough age or we baby them too much. I’m not sure what it is we did but they are really ridiculous. I tried watching The Dog Whisperer for tips but we still haven’t broken them of their aggressive behavior towards other dogs. Some of the tips did work though. After dragging Pixel a number of times (and feeling very badly about it, especially when other people saw and I’m sure thought I was the worst thing since Cruella Deville), she did eventually learn to walk beside us and not pull. As did Bailey… until we see another dog, that is.

I don’t think Pixel is as aggressive as she is afraid, or perhaps she goes back and forth as she has different barks for different occasions. One which is your usual I’m gonna get you sucka! type of bark, then another high pitched, mega loud, neighbours looking from every direction to see who is torturing their puppy, OMG DON’T KILL ME PLEASE!!! yelp which you have to hear to believe. Both of which are usually triggered by Bailey barking, if he barks, she barks. If he doesn’t bark. She stop, drops and rolls like she’s on fire. Belly up and ready for attention.

Bailey? He has two modes too. Come here and let me chew your face off!!! and Hmm, how YOU doin’?! You can see in the above photo that the dog is a female and he’s in getting all Rico Suave on her. A few minutes after this photo was taken Pixel was belly up, attention whoring her little behind off.

Usually, when we are out for a walk and another dog comes along, it goes a little something like this:

Bailey barks and snarls his arse off like he’s twice as big as he is and has been trained for the dog pits.
Pixel catches on and yelps like there’s, literally, no tomorrow. She is about to die and she wants everyone in the city to know.
I, red faced and embarrassed, either shuffle quickly along with them in tow or yank, growl and bark at them both under my breath as I try to get them to sit, be quiet, stop it, OHMYGODSHUTTHEHELLUP or whatever ends up working – which is usually none of the above. All the while the two of them completely ignore me, continue barking and lunge in the direction of the passing dog until it is out of sight.
The other dogs owner looks at me either with understanding, pity or distain, depending on how well behaved their dog is.

They need doggy training… or maybe we need owner training. Regardless, this routine is a part of my daily life and is the first thing that came to mind when thinking of what photo to use for today’s hunt.

That’s Right Grandma, I’m Dancin’!

Breigh — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:01:06 +0000

This morning was weigh in day. I got on the insult machine, looked down and told it to go fuck itself.

It would appear that making that 1 pound my bitch is going to be more difficult than I thought. Instead, my body was all like HA, I’ll take your 1 pound and see you a half a kilo. Then I was like, oh blow me.

*sigh*

It really put me in a horrible mood because I’ve been so good. Going to the gym, getting my bike out and riding it, eating right… and for what? To gain a half a kilo? I tried to rationalize by telling myself that I gained a half a kilo of muscle but I know that’s not true. I know it’s just bloat weight, because I’m a woman and that’s what we do, we bloat. I don’t like to brag, but bloating is one area where I excel. It’ll be gone in a few days, and I’m cool with that but still, my hopes of waking up this morning and strutting around chanting I LOST 50 POUNDS were dashed.

Then I came out to the living room to find that at some point in the night my cat lost a half a kilo by projectile vomiting all over the floor. I considered trying that method myself but decided against it, vomiting makes me cry and I’m trying to be all hardcore and kickass about this one pound business. I can’t be going around crying like a girl.

I then considered taking a laxative but I already gave myself a hemorrhoid by thinking I could poo the pound off. So I figured between that and the bike my ass as suffered enough.

When it came time to take the dogs out I was good and pissy. The sky was grey, it was drizzling out and I wasn’t looking forward to the usual routine of trying to get the dogs to have a crap rather than eating one. I grabbed my phone, put on my ‘kicking ass a the gym’ playlist and headed out the door.

Just as I was going down the stairs of our building the song in this video came on, You Can Do It by Ice Cube. You might recognize it from the movie Save The Last Dance, which I loved. Before I knew it I was wiggling my way down the stairs all Baby from Dirty Dancing on the stairs style. I may or may not have even done the dramatic pose at the end.

Normally I am quite paranoid about how I behave when I go outside because we live across from a seniors complex and they are some nosy, nosy people. I keep my living room curtains closed most of the time because they are always looking out their windows and into our house. I actually sat in the living room and waved once and some waved back. It’s very irritating.

Today I didn’t bother, I just needed that pick-me-up and didn’t care about anything. I went out of my building and walked along the sidewalk with the dogs, wiggling my chubby wigger ass like nobodies business! I was my own little one man flash mob. If they wanted to laugh at me or talk about me (which I’m pretty sure they do anyway, me being the BUITENLANDER and all) that was fine with me. I needed to let loose and shake off my bad mood. There really is some truth to that dance like nobody is watching thing.

Anyway, Ice Cube clearly knows loads about making things his bitch, so I went with the flow. If anyone had a problem with that… I was totally gonna bust a cap in their ass.

My Father The Mortician

Breigh — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:34:14 +0000

My father (seated center) and his band, The Morticians, in the ruins of Moxham’s Castle (1966)

Today an old friend of the family posted these photos of my father and his band, The Morticians, on Facebook. They were taken in the mid to late 60’s. I’ve heard a lot about the band my father played in when he was a teenager, how popular they became and all the fun they had (well, I’m sure he left some of it out, he WAS a teenager in the 60’s!), but this is the first time I’ve seen photos of it. He used to tell me all the time about how they had their photo taken in the ruins of Moxham’s Castle after it burned to the ground in 1966. I’ve never seen either of these photos until today. I find it so cool! Apparently they used to arrive at their gigs in a hearse, which I’m sure must have added just the right amount of drama to their performances.

My father (left) with his teenage band, The Morticians. Canadians might know the man next to him (James Flynn) as the Canadian entertainer Jimmy Flynn.

If you are anything like me, you find it very cool when you see photos of your parents when they were young. Especially if it’s one like this, that you’ve always heard of but have never seen.

My father is a musician, so growing up I always heard a lot of stories about the different bands he’s been in. I would hear all about how my Nana used to drive him and his band mates to their gigs, all the crazy things that would happen with the people in the crowds and all the antics he and his band would get up to. It wasn’t just family telling the tales either! More than once I’ve met someone’s parents for the first time and listened to them tell me about how they saw my father play at some time or another. I once even had to sit through a friend’s mother gushing about how much she loved The Morticians and how cute my father was.

When I was growing up my father was in a band called ‘57 Chevy. I always felt so cool when we’d go to some event that my father was playing at. I loved to listen to him sing, and I still do. There were bands before ‘57 Chevy though, and I didn’t get to witness any of those. They were just like family folk tales to me, I knew the stories by heart but sometimes it seemed so hard to imagine my dad as ever being a teenager, it was hard to believe it was all real.

My father is passionate about music and I love that about him. I could sit all night and listen to him play the guitar and sing. I love that he has something in his life that he feels so strongly about and that he is so good at, and I wish like hell I’d taken advantage of it when I was young and learned to play the guitar. He tried to teach me when I was a teenager but when he told me I had to cut my nails, it was game over.

Anyway, I love my dad. I loved getting a glimpse into his past and seeing him at a time that I know everything was exciting and new… before mom, before me… when he was just a teenage boy in a band. I especially love getting to see the Moxham’s Castle photo shoot that I’d heard so much about.

It’s been over 40 years since those photos were taken and he’s still as dedicated to his music as he was back then. I’m so proud of him and even though most of the songs he’s written make me cry, I can’t wait to get home in October and have him play for me again.