About two months ago my friend Penny told me her husband was going away for a weekend in May, she was unloading her son with her sister-in-law and asked if I wanted to have a girl’s day.  I’m always up for a girl’s day so I promptly marked it on the calendar.

Fast forward to this past Saturday morning.  The plan was that Penny was going to come here before lunch, we’d go meet her friend at a restaurant in town so that she could give her the cupcakes she ordered, we’d spend the day shopping, come home and have dinner and then chill together for the evening.   I was sitting on my sofa wondering where on earth I was going to come up with the energy.  While she was sitting on the train we were sending each other messages. I explained that she my have to nudge me throughout the day to wake me up, as the drugs I’m on for the IVF (yes, I still plan to post and write more about this) have knocked me out.  She told me I’d probably feel better if I got up and had a shower and got ready, but I replied that I didn’t think I even had the energy to shower, that we should go to town rather than going to the mall so we’d be outdoors and I’d not stink her out! haha

She wasn’t having any of it and told me to get my ass in the shower, that she was going to be here in a half hour and I better be ready.  BAH!  I knew she was right so I shlupped my way to the shower hoping that it would wake me up a little.  Seriously, the extent of my exhaustion and braindeadedness from the medications is insane. You have to see it to believe it.

When she arrived I mentioned to her that we should go into town at noon and have some lunch while we waited for her friend, but she wanted to eat afterwards.  I was calculating in my head and wondering why she wanted to wait until after 2pm to have lunch, I need to eat every few hours and it made no sense.  I tried to change the plan a few times but she didn’t seem at all interested in having lunch earlier, so I sucked it up and thought to myself that Penny is weird.

When I went to look at the cupcakes she made for her friend, they were wrapped up like a present.  There was a card on it that said “Bryan” and she explained that her friend’s husband’s birthday wasn’t until the next day but that he REALLY loves cupcakes.  She asked Penny to wrap the box of cupcakes so that he wouldn’t see them and eat them before the party.  Seemed to make sense, although I wasn’t sure what kind of person can’t control themselves at all and leave a few cupcakes alone for 24 hours.  Penny’s friends are weird.

As we sat on the tram on our way into town she was busy messaging on her phone and would tell me that her husband was saying this or that.  He was in Paris for the weekend with his father and I sat there wondering how he had time to do anything if he is messaging her the whole time.  I yawned, shook my head and thought … Penny AND her husband are weird.

When we got to town it was almost time to meet her friend, but she kept wanting to stop to pee, go to different shops, walk in the opposite direction from the restaurant to look at this or that.  I kept looking at my watch and wondering why I was the only one worried about being on time for her friend.  Again I just silently thought to myself… Penny is weird.

Then, as we were looking through one of the shops, she got a message and told me that her friend messaged her and told her she was already at the restaurant.  Well, DUH!  Of course she is, she’s been sitting there waiting for us while Penny drags me all over without a care in the world.  Penny is SO weird.

Her friend said that when we got to the restaurant that she was in the door and straight over to the right.  So when I walked in I started looking for her, because the place was SO busy.

When I looked over to where her friend said she’d be, instead of seeing her, I saw a group of my friends.  What the heck?  I was so confused.  My drug addled brain was already not firing on all cylinders so things were taking a lot longer to register than normal.

I saw this big group of my friends in the restaurant and my first thought was “Those bitches! They all got together for lunch and didn’t invite me and Penny!!”

Then I realized they were all looking at me, not in the horror of realizing they’d been busted, but smiling and beaming.  I was trying to make sense of what I was seeing – “What in the hell is going on?  Why are they looking at me like that?  Did I win something??”.

Then Penny told me to turn around and look ahead…

Yup folks, that’s the look of utter shock and confusion.  I STILL had not realized what was going on.  Who is that with the camera in front of their face?  What is happening?  Why are they all here?  What has happened?!

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!

Then they all started singing happy birthday.  Whose birthday is it?!  Oh wait, it was my birthday last week.  They are singing happy birthday to me.  Look at how smiley they all are.  Wait, is this a surprise birthday party?  For me?!

THIS IS A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ME!! Thank god Penny made me shower! haha

Yeah, that’s when things started making sense.  I was all caught up with the program now.  Well, sort of… I was still in shock and couldn’t believe it was happening. Nobody had ever done anything like this before… and look at Penny.  She’s as pleased as punch!  She totally pulled it off!  She planned the whole thing, got everyone there, got ME there and didn’t have a heart attack.  Maybe she wasn’t as weird as I thought she was!

Then the big shock came!  My husband had known about this whole thing the entire time and actually managed to keep it from me!  This is a man that I have to stop from giving me gifts two days before occasions because he can’t stand the excitement.  I think it was the fact that he had the wrath of 20 women to face if he slipped up!

They gave me tiara, a friggin’ tiara!  I wonder how long I can get away with wearing that thing…

The minute I put it on all I could think about was this:

Ahh you just gotta love Amy Farrah Fowler!

Moving swiftly on…

Once the tiara was in place and I got over the shock a little, it was time for presents!  Now the wrapped package made a lot more sense.  I mean, looking back, that story about wrapping the guy’s cupcakes so he wouldn’t eat them?  How did that not make me suspicious?!

But wait!

There actually ARE cupcakes in there?!  The most delicious looking, chocolate cupcakes. What mean bastard put those in there when I can’t eat them?!  Once again I was so confused… but then they explained that Penny picked the brain of my fellow bypasser and friend, Susan, and together they came up with a recipe for a cupcake that would work for me.  I could not believe it.  I wanted to stuff one in my face right then and there but I had just ordered a sandwich and knew I only had so much space!

Time to move on and see what’s in the other packages… definitely not anything like I was expecting.  I was shocked and thrilled when I saw what my friends had gotten me.  Carol was front and center to get my reaction, and looking at some of the faces I made, I’m not sure if I should thank her for it or not! haha

Oh gosh, I look like one of those weird children whose videos go around the internet when they lose their shit after opening some awesome Christmas present. You all know those kids I’m talking about, the screaming weirdos.  Yeah, that was me.

They bought me an ereader, a Kobo Glo, and I love it!

For the past while I’ve been complaining about the performance of my Samsung Galaxy Note, which I use as a phone, ereader, mobile internet, agenda, and a load of other things.  Lately when I’ve been reading on it the battery has been going down 1% per minute and it’s been making me insane.  I’ve wanted an ereader but after getting this big phone mostly for that purpose I just couldn’t rationalize buying one for myself.   Well, that is no longer an issue!

I’m sure they were all chuckling to themselves over the last few months ever time I posted a status on Facebook bitching about trying to read on my phone! Sneaky, sneaky devils!

Along with the Kobo they also gave me a cleaning set, a universal plug and money to buy a cover for it.  I also got lovely cards and a gift certificate for the theater. How awesome is that?

Also?  They gave me this:

A mason jar full notes from my friends.  Notes about things they love about me, fun times we’ve had together, uplifting thoughts and a general mishmash of feel good tidbits.  I was instructed to take the jar home and take out a piece every time I was feeling down and remember that I have friends that love me that are there for me.

These women… they know me. They know what I am going through at the moment because they are the people I talk to.  They know the emotional toll the IVF is taking on me and how difficult it has been both emotionally and physically… and they did this for me, just to make me smile.

Then it all hit me like a tidal wave, I think it was the bottle of love that put me over the edge.  It hit me just how incredibly lucky I am to have these women in my life, how amazing they are and how amazing my husband is.  That no matter what happens I have the love and support of all of these incredible people.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you already know what is coming!

Yup, you guessed it!  I was just so touched and overwhelmed by their love and generosity that I couldn’t stop it any longer.  Time for the glasses to come off and let the weeping begin!

Thankfully, as I said, they all know me and they know I can be a weepy thing.  I generally despise crying in front of people but between this amazing gesture and me being on a roller coaster of hormones at the moment, there was simply no avoiding it.  So I just let myself cry…

… and cry

… aaaaand cry some more.

Ok you good?  Yup… I think I’m done.

Whew, ok now that we got that out of the way.  Let’s see about that cupcake, shall we?!

Penny even brought candles. So I got to have a candle in my cupcake, which I was pretty excited about!

What?! I told you I was excited! haha

Check out that cupcake!  It doesn’t look like something I should be able to eat, does it?  I was so shocked! I don’t know the recipe but the cupcake was made with coconut flour (I think) and the icing was actually sugar free marshmallow made with agave rather than sugar (this went through the middle of the cupcake) and there was a drizzle of raspberry and chocolate on top. HOLY YUM!

After I stopped squealing like a nerd I blew out my candle. I don’t think I have to tell anyone what I wished for!

Once we’d had lunch, dessert, the candle was blown out and the presents were sorted… we decided it was time to move on.  The restaurant was crazy warm and we decided to leave and go somewhere else to have a coffee and chat.  Preferably somewhere outside in the cool air!

They wouldn’t let me remove the tiara so I got a bit of strange looks.  I don’t know why but I love this photo, just walking through the city with my girlfriends.  So Sex and the City only without the crazy high heels!

I was such a happy, happy girl!

Nothing makes me smile more than spending time with the people I love!

While I still had some of the girls together I asked them to pose for a quick 365 photo for the day. I had so many photos taken but none by me so we all scrunched in a store window for a photo.  I love this photo so much!  While it’s not the best quality as it’s just a quickie mobile shot, I love everything that it reminds me of and what it means to me.  Friendship, laughter and a freaking tiara!

What an amazing day my friends gave me.  I think I will be riding that high for a long, long time.  I really don’t know how to thank them, how to let them know how much I appreciate it.  Penny, for organizing the whole thing, going out of her way to make me special cupcakes to enjoy, getting everyone together and for pity sake, getting my lazy ass in the shower! haha  Xander for managing to keep the secret, holding me off every time I was tempted to buy the ereader myself haha and just being who he is.  All my friends for pitching in for such cool gifts, even those who weren’t able to attend the party.  The friends that came from up to 2-3 hours away just to spend time and be there or came in spite of the fact that they weren’t feeling very well.  Just everything… there are no words to express the joy they brought me that day or how much I appreciate them.

Thank you all! I love you all so so much!

I just realized that this technically means I can knock something else off my 101 List!  Have a birthday party! Sweet!

Week 17 was great!  Even though I was feeling the emotional turmoil of our fertility treatments, the week was still fantastic.  The weather was great and I loved seeing spring finally starting to show up here in the Netherlands.  I think I got some great photos during this week.  The padded room photo made it to the top 5 in a “ETSOOI” (Editing the shit out of it) competition with the theme Emotions.

I felt like I was able to really get imaginative in some of the photos, like the mobile phone and mage photos.  A good week for sure!

** Note **  If you see the term “Hubbypod” that is a nickname my husband has now on the 365 project website.  I sometimes get him to help me with the photos when I don’t have a tripod with me so he’s been lovingly  nicknamed “Hubbypod”.

Day 114 – Feeling very out of control both mentally and physically today. My mood has been terrible and there’s no telling what the cause may be. There is so much going on with me at the moment medically and with my family and such, it’s likely just the combination of all of it.

Regardless, I find it incredibly frustrating to not be in control of my emotions. I’m not ranting and screaming all day (ok, maybe part of the day!), and for the most part it is more of an inner process… but still, there are definitely moments where I think I’m about one dog bark, hot flash or stubbed toe away from a padded room.

Day 115 – Me getting crunched and cracked by my manual physiotherapist. So uncomfortable but feels so great after!

So many things you don’t realize that can accompany a large amount of weight loss. After losing weight my core muscles settled differently, resulting in a tilted pelvis. This has caused me to have a very, very irritated SI joint (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint). I had physio for it last summer but after pulling my back a few weeks ago it has flared up again. I’m sure with his help I will be right as rain in no time!

Day 116 – What would life be without them? Got a quick shot of my friends and I during a games night last night.
Yet another hubbypod photo, I may have to start paying him soon. Although he seems content to work for food at this point.

Not at all pleased with the quality of the P&S photo here, but what can ya do! That’ll teach me to leave the DSLR home when i know I’ll likely want a photo!

Day 117 – If there is anything that helps me rise and shine it’s Hollandse aardbeien!! Dutch strawberries! It’s a sure sign of summer for me, when the Dutch strawberries finally start coming out in all the shops.

Earlier in the season we can get them from places like Spain, but they are often quite tasteless and hard. When it comes to the strawberries here? The saying “If it ain’t Dutch, it ain’t much” definitely rings true for me!

Day 118 – I used to love playing MMORPG’s… I spent years in games like Ultima Online, Dark Age of Camelot and World of Warcraft and my characters were always mages, wizards and witches. It has been a long time since a game interested me enough to keep playing, though, sadly… Sometimes I miss it, but not enough to stick with any of the new games that are out.

Thinking of that gave me the chance to go a little bananas in Photoshop, it was fun! :)

Background: http://starscoldnight.deviantart.com/art/Woods-Premade-Bg-By-Starscoldnight-284396096
Flames, Birds, Eyelashes and Spiderwebs courtesy of: http://redheadstock.deviantart.com/

Day 119 – I love my phone, it’s huge! It’s like a phone and a tablet all in one. I bought it specifically because I wanted to use it as an ereader. Only problem? Reading on it kills the battery quicker than you can say omgmybatteryisdeadagaindammit!

I would love a proper ereader, but I still have a year left on the contract for this phone. So I won’t hold my breath! :P

Day 120 – Today was the last Queen’s Day in the Netherlands, we have a new king!! I went into the city center to have a look around and see what was going on to celebrate and get some photos. I really must get some orange clothes, but these cool shades will have to do for this year!

The photo ops (other than some street photography) were not so great. I really want that ‘see of orange’ photo but I get the feeling I’m going to have to go to Amsterdam for that!

Photo by hubbypod

Day 121 – Today I was in town and I saw these teenagers with “Free Hugs” signs, hugging random people. I was curious so I asked what the purpose was (like was it for a project or website or something) but they said nope, they just love hugs and thinks hugs make people happy. They were just trying to spread a little happiness around.

I suppose some would see it as a bit weird, but I thought it was great. We need more people out trying to start cycles of positivity rather than all the negativity we see around us nowadays!
I was down with the free hugs!

Hubbypod again! It’s just so much easier than those non-thinking, stubborn plastic tripods. :P

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92
Week 14: Days 93-99
Week 15: Days 100-106
Week 16: Days 107-113

Week 16 was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me.  There were some amazing highs, like the Pink concert and some lows, when I lost my grandfather.  All in all it turned out to be a good week with some pretty good photos.  My follow up to the Ninja vs Lego war was popular on the 365 project site and like the one before it, made it to the popular page, which I thought was great!

Day 107 – My eyebrows are the bane of my existence. I can’t pluck them properly to save my life, one is always higher than the other (which I feel leaves me looking constantly surprised or dubious!) and rather than lots of small hairs I have fewer long ones. Oh how they irritate me!

Day 108 – You may have won the battle, Lego… but you have not won the war!!
(This is a follow up photo from one I did earlier this month about my battle with Lego, you can find it here)

Day 109 - I’m a day behind, had such a busy day and late night last night, but WHAT a fantastic night it was! I saw PINK in concert in Amsterdam!

This is my friend Penny and I excitedly waiting in line to get in!

Day 110 – This was taken this evening when we walked the dogs before dinner. It was a beautiful day in Rotterdam and I was also happy to be wearing the new PINK t-shirt that I bought at the concert last night!

You see, in 2009 I saw Pink in concert for the first time. I was SO excited as I’ve not been to many concerts. This was when I was at my highest weight, so I was feeling pretty miserable physically (oh hell, and mentally too!). When we got to the t-shirt stand and I was told that the largest size they had was an XL, my heart sank. I probably would have needed at least a 3x-4x at that time. I tried to try it on but when I put my arms into the body I knew that it was nowhere wide enough, but I bought it anyway in hopes that one day it would fit and I’d be able to wear it.
It took 3 years for me to be able to wear that shirt. I wrote about it on May 1, 2012 on my blog, which was almost 5 months after my WLS. It was a big NSV (non-scale victory) for me to finally be able to wear that t-shirt comfortably. http://www.breigh.com/wordpress/archives/8212

Last night at the concert I wasn’t sure what size t-shirt to get, but I was thrilled knowing I’d be able to walk away with one and wear it right away. I decided to get a large to be safe, and went to the bathroom in the stadium to try it on. I went straight back to the booth to exchange it for a medium as the large was way too big. I couldn’t believe it.

I wish I could have gone back in time and told that sad, embarrassed girl I was at the 2009 concert just how much better life will be for her one day.

Day 111 – Just because you live in a big city doesn’t mean there aren’t peaceful places to get out and just enjoy the outdoors. This morning I went on a lovely 15km bike ride and stopped here at my favorite spot by a lake to have a snack and be in the fresh air a little longer. Have I mentioned how much I love spring?

Day 112 – It’s always so easy to get wrapped up in the stress of life and today was one of those days for me. This afternoon my husband said he was going out for a walk and came home with these roses, just to make me smile… I freaking love that dude.

Sometimes I need to remind myself to not let the stress and anxiety of what is going on get to me, and to remember all of the positive things in my life. To literally stop and smell the roses. Today I took a moment and did just that!

Day 113 – If I ever get to the point where I wonder if my husband and I have anything in common anymore, all I have to do is look at our footwear.

Didn’t feel like a proper selfie today. I am coming down with a cold and received some very sad news from home last night (my grandfather passed away) and this was just about all the effort I was able to put into a photo.
No matter how long you live in another country, one thing never changes… how difficult it is to be away from family when something is going on. While day to day the homesickness has pretty much disappeared, the feelings of disconnection and loneliness come rushing back at times like this.

This is the life I have chosen, though, so for today I will feel and deal, spend time with my wonderful husband and not concern myself too much with photography.

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92
Week 14: Days 93-99
Week 15: Days 100-106

Week 15 was a bit of a mixed bag. Some days I felt like really getting into my photo of the day, while other days I just let it go with a quick mobile photo.  I had a lot going on as we had just come out of two failed cycles of IUI and had finally moved on to IVF (we are still currently in our first cycle of IVF so please don’t ask the outcome as we simply don’t know yet.  If the time comes I have something to tell, I will tell).  A lot of drugs, hormones, and anxiety were (and still are) taking me over at times and it was a lot to deal with emotionally.  I may get around to discussing it in more depth here on the blog, or I may not, I’ve not decided yet as I’m not sure how I feel about being so open about it all anymore.  We’ll see…

Anyway, on with the photos!

Day 100 – Choppy Chop!

It took me over 12 years but I finally found a hair stylist in Rotterdam that I like and trust!
You can see a preview of the change here, went shorter! Not crazy short, but a definite change! :)http://instagram.com/p/X7XbQWgyZD/

Day 101 – TICK TOCK

I can take as many photos of myself as I like, but none can ever show the world what is going on inside me right now better than this.
*******
Backstory for new followers, sorry if it is TMI but I think a rather dramatic photo like this deserves an explanation… if I choose to post it, I need to choose to explain it, I think.

My husband and i have been trying to have a child for 13 years. I will be 38 years old next month. I have had 8 failed IUI (intra-uterine insemination) treatments and have had weight loss surgery to lose over 140 lbs to allow me to move on to IVF before it is too late.

We will be beginning our first IVF treatment one week from now. Our future has been uncertain for a very long time and it has been a very long, stressful and painful road for us so far.

So yeah, this is what it would look like if you could look inside of me. My biological clock clicking out of control, my mind a whir of thoughts regarding my situation and just a lot of anxiety and uncertainty.

On the plus side, one way or the other we will be able to finally move on from this before the year is out. So the end of this 365 project will see me moving on to a new life, I guess we all just have to wait and see what life it will be!

This feels so personal, but that’s my project… it’s about my life, accepting the curve balls life throws me and learning to love myself in spite of it all. So, you are all invited along for the ride!

Day 102 – Happy Place

What to do when feeling stressed and anxious? Go to the local electronics store and hang out on their massage chairs… and try not to fall asleep!

Day 103 – Friends

My friend Penny and I before leaving for our friend’s baby shower. We always say we don’t have enough photos of us together so I made her stand in front of the camera (she doesn’t like it there much!) so I could get one! :)

Day 104 – First BBQ!

Who has two tasty thumbs and was so excited that the warm weather has finally reached the Netherlands that she went ahead and piled 3x as much food as she can actually eat on her plate? THIS GIRL!

Day 105 – Blue Skies

Just a simple mobile pic to show a happy moment… sitting on the bus with blue skies shining down on me. Love it!

Day 106 – Ereading

Today I was discussing ereaders with some friends. At the moment I read on my Samsung Galaxy Note, which is a mobile / tablet hybrid. My husband and I have been considering getting ereaders as the battery life of our phones is not great when we use them for reading. We are still unsure, though. One thing we are sure of is that we could never go back to paper books!

(At the moment I am reading Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake)

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92
Week 14: Days 93-99

Week 14 was my first full week without the me-March challenge from the 365 project website, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it because I really did. I enjoyed coming up with whatever I wanted, but I missed sharing the daily challenge with other people and the hints of what to do each day.  Regardless, I got on with it.  The ninja photo was really popular among the people on the 365 project, I got a lot of really great feedback on that one!  So much so, that I did a follow up a few weeks later, but we’ll get to that!

Day 93 – Beauty is for the birds!

A while back on my project (Day 30) I was discussing aging and wrinkles. In one of the conversations that followed, a friend suggested I get Nivea cream and “gob it on” and let it sit on my face without rubbing it in.

Today I tried it, and it was not a huge success. I am not someone who can put something on my face and let it sit there. My face tingles and itches, I get it in my eyes, I lick my lips without thinking. It’s not pretty. Not pretty at all.

Perhaps I am just meant to grow old naturally :P

Day 94 – A Girl and Her Camera

This is a photo I took to test something on my camera before I started shooting for my pic of the day. I had what I thought was a great idea, but after a bazillion photos it turned out to be an epic fail.

As I went through the photos, I came across this one, and I liked it better than anything I took trying to get the other photo. Go figure!

I will try for my original thought again someday!

Day 95 – Fighting Back!

Lego is taking over my house, I’ve decided it’s time to fight back! :P

Day 96 – Spring: Seen but Not Felt!

You know how mothers often tell their children to be seen and not heard? Pretty sure Mother Nature has decided to change it up a bit and go for seen but not felt. It looks like spring, the sun is shining and the buds are coming out… yet I’m still dressed like it’s December! Shenanigans!

Day 97 – Chillin’ Like a Villain!

Pajamas, trashy teen drama (Pretty Little Liars), my heating pad and 365project.org on the laptop. A relaxing Sunday afternoon, not to be disturbed by the setting up of tripods and all the other bits and bobs involved in a proper selfie!

Day 98 – STATIC!

One more reason to look forward to summer.. the season of sweaters, also known as… the season of static… will finally come to an end!

Anyone else feel like they walk around with their hair standing on end all day?

Day 99 – Why, Milka?! Whyyy?!

Now I remember why I avoid the candy aisle in the supermarket! It’s because I may find things like this! My two favorite things together in one handy package! Things you might call a chunk of delicious, dipped in awesomesauce with a side of YUM!

Only, it’s too late… I can’t / don’t / won’t eat things like this now. For me it’s a chunk of temptation, dipped in dangersauce with a possible side of pain (sugar can cause us gastric bypass patients some serious discomfort if we over do it, so I just don’t do it at all… pain is a great deterrent!).

The new me is grateful to have these obstacles, the old me wonders WHYYY? Why couldn’t this have existed when I could still eat one (or 10)?!

P.S. Holy smokes I really did get my father’s lips… look at the size of that sucker!

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92

Week 13 was the last week of my me-March project on the 365 Project website.  I thought I’d be relieved to see it come to and end as there were some ideas I wanted to try that had nothing to do with the day to day challenges.  I found that I quite missed it though, and I’m looking forward to finding another monthly challenge that looks interesting!

Day 86 – Today’s theme is “Something I do every day…”
Every day I geek out on my laptop downloading shows, chatting with friends and editing photos. I also listen to my husband talk about his Lego Robotics hobby A LOT.

Day 87 – Today’s theme is “Someone I care about…”
Well, duh! Who didn’t see this coming? This is the person I care about most in the world. My husband and best friend, Xander! :)

Day 88 – Today’s theme is “Something I noticed today…”
Today I noticed this crystal ball sitting in my china cabinet. I had borrowed it from friends ages ago and just realized I’d never gotten it out to play with! So, today I did!

Day 89 – Today’s theme is “Something I chose to photograph today…”
I chose to photograph me laying down with a wrecked back. Hubby was kind enough to assist me behind the camera with the focus, to stop me from having to get up and down to check. I just laid and clicked my wireless remote. Today was a day for keeping it simple!

Day 90 – Today’s theme is “Something sacred to me…”
My relationship with the sun is sacred to me. After moving to the Netherlands I have learned how incredibly solar powered I am. I need sunshine to soothe my soul and recharge my batteries after a long, dark, Dutch winter.

Day 91 – Today was one of those days… the kind that are both mentally and physically taxing. This is what my mood looks like today… not happy, not sad, not angry or anything really. Just a little empty.
Tomorrow is a new day!

Day 92 – Today is the 5th birthday of my friend’s daughter. Her name is Carys (https://www.facebook.com/everythingcarys) and she has Rett Syndrome. For the last number of years I have watched her friends and family working hard to raise awareness and fund the research needed to find the cure. They have walked for days, ran marathons and one friend will even be climbing Mount Everest!
As a friend, you can sometimes feel incredibly helpless. I hope that by using this photo as my project photo of the day, and sharing it through my various photography websites, that I can help raise awareness about what is going on with these little girls.
Never heard of Rett Syndrome? This is what it says on the back of this card:
Rett Syndrome is a leading cause of disability in women, a spontaneous genetic disorder that could happen to any little girl. Every day, 17 girls are diagnosed with Rett Syndrome which robs them of the ability to walk, talk and even eat.
Scientists have made amazing progress since discovering the gene responsible for Rett Syndrome, a cure is truly within reach.
You can help by
visiting our website: http://www.curerett.org.uk
like us on: http://www.facebook.com/curerett
follow us on Twitter: @curerett
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please help spread the word about Rett Syndrome!

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85

Week 12, the me-March project from 365 project continues!  I had a good week, I think. With the exception of the quickie mobile photo on Day 79, I was really pleased with the quality and processing of the photos for the week!

Day 79 – Today’s theme is “Something I bought for myself…”
Quickie mobile shot today as I was out and about all day and didn’t have time for a proper photo. I bought myself a ticket to see the new OZ movie in 3D Imax. Effects were great, but the story itself gets a bit of a “meh”.

Day 80 – Today’s theme is “Something that reminds me of someone…”
This guitar reminds me of my father. He is a musician and can play the guitar better than anyone I know. He started trying to teach me how to play when I was in Canada in October and gave me this beautiful classical guitar to take home to the Netherlands with me.
So far I’m not so great at playing it but I need to be patient and practice more.

Day 81 – Today’s theme is “Something that reminds me of a place…”
I have a box on a shelf in my living room that my husband and I call the Honeymoon Box. It contains all of our memories from our trip to Paris after our wedding in May 2000. Sometimes we like to take it out and go through it just to reminisce.
These earphones are from an open top bus tour company that we used to travel around the city… and of course, our trusty guide book!

Day 82 – Today’s theme is “Something that helps me relax…”
A nice hot shower often helps me to relax (would be a bath, if we had a tub!). Unfortunately, this wasn’t a relaxing shower! In order to ensure that my lens didn’t fog up, I had a cold shower… BRRR! I literally tortured myself for this photo, people! :P

Day 83 – Today’s theme is “Something that helps me sleep…”
In order for me to sleep I need silence, darkness and my teddy, Turk Turkleton. Silence is the most important for me… I am a very light sleeper.

Day 84 – Today’s theme is “Something that celebrates an achievement”.
This is my Canadutch tattoo that I got while I was in Canada in October. After many years feeling like I didn’t truly belong in the Netherlands, and feeling myself growing more and more distant from my Canadian roots… I have come to love and appreciate that I am a truly unique combination of both. I consider that to be an achievement!

Day 85 – Today’s theme is “Something I haven’t done before…”
I have never tried to take a super close up eye photo. I don’t have a proper macro lens and am not sure how to achieve it with the lenses I have now. I gave it a quick go this morning and didn’t get quite the results I was looking for. When all else fails, play with it in Photoshop!
Still want to try to get one of those crazy close up shots, but I kind of like how this photo turned out, even if it wasn’t what I was going for initially!

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78

Week 11 continued the me-March challenge on the 365 project website.  I enjoyed having a theme to work with so much.  Rather than just having to sit and think of what I was going to do that day, I at least had some direction and food for thought.

Day 71 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I like to remember…”
I like to remember Prague. I visited there for the first time and fell head over heels in love with it.
I took the Prague view photo from the top of one of the tower at Charles Bridge. How great would it be if this really was the view from my living room window!

Day 72 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I go to exercise…”
I belong to a great gym in the south of Rotterdam called GOSH. I like to go there to exercise.

Day 73 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I go to eat…”
Since my weight loss surgery, I don’t go out to eat a whole lot. The majority of my food is found right in my own kitchen! Like this delicious sugar-free butterscotch pudding, which I can sometimes be found sneaking a taste of between meals.

Day 74 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I go to work…”
This one was a bit tough for me as I am a Domestic Engineer (that’s fancy speak for housewife!), so I don’t GO anywhere to work… I work at home, for myself!
One of the best perks of working for myself is that my trusty assistants and I can take time out from boring things (like laundry, boo!!) for more fun stuff, like cuddles!

Day 75 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I go to do something particular…”
I go to my sofa to collapse and try not to die after trying new classes at the gym! haha Today was my first time doing body pump and I’m pretty sure I’m going to feel it tomorrow!

Day 76 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I like to go to relax…”
I like to relax in the arms of my husband. We have been through a lot in our 14 years together and has only brought us closer… when I am upset, anxious or scared he knows just how to soothe me and help me relax. He is the Tammy Whisperer

Day 77 – My health is important to me. It has taken a long time to realize how important it is and to do something about it… but I finally have and it has made me incredibly happy. I’m not at the end yet but I’m getting closer. It has been 14 months today since my WLS and I am now down 140 lbs in total with 20 lbs to go! Almost there!

Day 78 -A few years ago I had made a comment to my husband about what a pity it is that all the beautiful flowers he brings home have to die. So one year on our anniversary he surprised me with these! Paper roses that he made himself with a little X+T (Xander + Tammy) card attached. Flowers that will never die and will live with me forever in my china cabinet.

Do I have the greatest husband or what?

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70

Holy crap, I got seriously behind on my updates for the 365 project.  Now I’m wondering what is the best way to catch up!  I considered just doing a slideshow of the whole thing, like a big catch up… but I quite like the idea of doing it week by week.  So I’m just going to do a few updates throughout this week and hopefully I will be caught up by next week and can continue on like normal!

So, week 10 was a good week. Feels like forever ago now… but I continued to enjoy my time on the 365 Project website.  I really started to find a lot of inspiration and motivation there, and the community is so great.  I love getting feedback on the photos and looking at the photos of others to get ideas for processing and such.  I was still in the “Me March” challenge, which I really enjoyed.

Day 64 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to listen to…”

I like listening to the sounds of my neighbourhood coming back to life in the spring. The sounds of children playing, birds chirping and people sitting out on their balconies chatting. We are so deprived of sunshine during the winter that it makes these signs of spring even more sweet.

This afternoon it was 16 degrees in Rotterdam. I went for a nice walk with my dogs and then sat on my balcony and just soaked it all in. It was utter bliss…

Day 65 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to snuggle…”

I like to snuggle my teddy bear. His name is Turk Turkleton (10 points if you can guess where the name came from!) and I sleep with him every night, just like this… curled up holding his ear. He belonged to my husband and I have been sleeping with him since shortly after we got married almost 13 years ago. There are some jealousy issues, but we manage. ;) He has been to Canada, France, Czech Republic, The Netherlands, Belgium, Ireland and more… I just don’t sleep the same without him.

I sleep with a teddy and I am not ashamed!

Day 66 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to do at work…”

I don’t have a job at the moment so I had to do my own twist on today’s theme. The thing I work hardest at right now is my health and fitness. I don’t work but I do WORK OUT! What I like to do while working out is watch comedy TV shows to help pass the time.

Day 67 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to eat…”

These are the things I LIKE to eat… but don’t. They are the comfort foods I love, but also hate, because my inability to resist and moderate lead to me once being over 300 lbs.

They are like bad boyfriends… sometimes I still want them, but then I remember where loving them got me, and I’m soon over it. I’ve lost 140 lbs and just like the bad boyfriends, I’m in no hurry to see them again!

Day 68 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to do at home…”

I like taking photos of things!

Day 69 – Today’s theme is “Something I like to wear…”

I like to wear my crazy soft and warm ROOTS hoodie that I bought when I was home in Canada in October. My favorite item of clothing. It’s like wearing a soft, warm cloud!

Day 70 – Today’s theme is “Somewhere I like to dream about…”

I dream about home. My other home… Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia, Canada. I grew up there, my family is all there, and a piece of my heart will always be there.

In 1999 I started a new life with my husband in the Netherlands. I am happy here, but I still miss home, my family and the beauty of Cape Breton. I probably always will…

Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63

Week 9 was another great week.  I have become quite addicted to the 365project.org website and have spent a lot of time browsing, commenting and being encouraged by other members.  It has really given me the drive to continue and put more and more thought into what I want to do with my photos, and what I want to get out of them.   I find in a large way that my photos are not just “Hey, here is me looking in the camera” (although that will happen from time to time) but rather, a telling of my story and my journey.  This has made it a lot more enjoyable and I find my confidence growing with each week, which is exactly what I hoped to get out of this project!

My favorite photo from this week is the pink nail polish photo!  I used to love selective colorization but sort of got over it after a while as so many used it so much.  It really seemed to suit that photo, though, and I really like it a lot!  I also like the first photo, with the two version of me.  I think it does a good job of showing what it’s like for me at the moment in regards to my body image and how I feel when I look in the mirror.

Day 57 -  I want to love the girl in the mirror, but she doesn’t always make it easy.

After almost 140 lbs lost, it’s hard to overcome and ignore body and self esteem issues that have been with me almost my entire life. As the old saying goes… Rome wasn’t built in a day! Let’s just call it a work in progress…

Day 58 – Experimenting today… trying to learn about focus with my 50mm, learning about editing eyes and using textures in Photoshop.

Day 59 – I am not the only work in progress in the house… I have a very bad habit of starting things I don’t finish!

Day 60 – Taking part in a “Me March” challenge on 365project.org. Today’s theme was “Something I Wish”

I think this is pretty self explanatory!

Day 61 – Following a “Me-March” challenge on 365project.org. Today’s theme is “Something I play (with)”.

I play with nail polish!
www.breigh.com/wordpress/archives/category/nails

Day 62 – Following a “Me-March” challenge on 365project.org. Today’s theme is “Something I step on…”

My husband is a hardcore Lego Mindstorms and robotics nut (www.botbench.com). He is really good about putting his stuff away but I think we both have still stepped on our share of Lego!

Day 63 – Following a “Me-March” challenge on 365project.org. Today’s theme is “Something I like to look at…”

I like to look at these books that my mother and grandmother made for me. They are called “To My Daughter with Love” and “Grandmother Remembers”. Books about their lives, loves and their relationship with me. I live an ocean away from my mother and lost my grandmother to Cancer when I was 21. I cherish these books.

Previous weeks of my 365 Days of Self Portraits project:
Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56