In an effort to gain self confidence and deal with body image issues still remaining after my weight loss, I decided to take part in a 365 project focusing on self portraits. My hopes are that after a year of taking a photo of myself ever day, that I will stop hating photos of myself, stop picking apart the things I hate about my body and learn to accept myself in a way that I haven’t been able to before. It is uncomfortable, challenging and at times scary as I am also putting myself out there in a way I never have… but sometimes personal growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone. So this is my project, 365 days of Self Portraits…
Week 17 was great! Even though I was feeling the emotional turmoil of our fertility treatments, the week was still fantastic. The weather was great and I loved seeing spring finally starting to show up here in the Netherlands. I think I got some great photos during this week. The padded room photo made it to the top 5 in a “ETSOOI” (Editing the shit out of it) competition with the theme Emotions.
I felt like I was able to really get imaginative in some of the photos, like the mobile phone and mage photos. A good week for sure!
** Note ** If you see the term “Hubbypod” that is a nickname my husband has now on the 365 project website. I sometimes get him to help me with the photos when I don’t have a tripod with me so he’s been lovingly nicknamed “Hubbypod”.
Day 114 – Feeling very out of control both mentally and physically today. My mood has been terrible and there’s no telling what the cause may be. There is so much going on with me at the moment medically and with my family and such, it’s likely just the combination of all of it.
Regardless, I find it incredibly frustrating to not be in control of my emotions. I’m not ranting and screaming all day (ok, maybe part of the day!), and for the most part it is more of an inner process… but still, there are definitely moments where I think I’m about one dog bark, hot flash or stubbed toe away from a padded room.
Day 115 – Me getting crunched and cracked by my manual physiotherapist. So uncomfortable but feels so great after!
So many things you don’t realize that can accompany a large amount of weight loss. After losing weight my core muscles settled differently, resulting in a tilted pelvis. This has caused me to have a very, very irritated SI joint (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint). I had physio for it last summer but after pulling my back a few weeks ago it has flared up again. I’m sure with his help I will be right as rain in no time!
Day 116 – What would life be without them? Got a quick shot of my friends and I during a games night last night.
Yet another hubbypod photo, I may have to start paying him soon. Although he seems content to work for food at this point.
Not at all pleased with the quality of the P&S photo here, but what can ya do! That’ll teach me to leave the DSLR home when i know I’ll likely want a photo!
Day 117 – If there is anything that helps me rise and shine it’s Hollandse aardbeien!! Dutch strawberries! It’s a sure sign of summer for me, when the Dutch strawberries finally start coming out in all the shops.
Earlier in the season we can get them from places like Spain, but they are often quite tasteless and hard. When it comes to the strawberries here? The saying “If it ain’t Dutch, it ain’t much” definitely rings true for me!
Day 118 – I used to love playing MMORPG’s… I spent years in games like Ultima Online, Dark Age of Camelot and World of Warcraft and my characters were always mages, wizards and witches. It has been a long time since a game interested me enough to keep playing, though, sadly… Sometimes I miss it, but not enough to stick with any of the new games that are out.
Thinking of that gave me the chance to go a little bananas in Photoshop, it was fun! :)
Flames, Birds, Eyelashes and Spiderwebs courtesy of: http://redheadstock.deviantart.com/
Day 119 – I love my phone, it’s huge! It’s like a phone and a tablet all in one. I bought it specifically because I wanted to use it as an ereader. Only problem? Reading on it kills the battery quicker than you can say omgmybatteryisdeadagaindammit!
I would love a proper ereader, but I still have a year left on the contract for this phone. So I won’t hold my breath! :P
Day 120 – Today was the last Queen’s Day in the Netherlands, we have a new king!! I went into the city center to have a look around and see what was going on to celebrate and get some photos. I really must get some orange clothes, but these cool shades will have to do for this year!
The photo ops (other than some street photography) were not so great. I really want that ‘see of orange’ photo but I get the feeling I’m going to have to go to Amsterdam for that!
Photo by hubbypod
Day 121 – Today I was in town and I saw these teenagers with “Free Hugs” signs, hugging random people. I was curious so I asked what the purpose was (like was it for a project or website or something) but they said nope, they just love hugs and thinks hugs make people happy. They were just trying to spread a little happiness around.
I suppose some would see it as a bit weird, but I thought it was great. We need more people out trying to start cycles of positivity rather than all the negativity we see around us nowadays!
I was down with the free hugs!
Hubbypod again! It’s just so much easier than those non-thinking, stubborn plastic tripods. :P
Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92
Week 14: Days 93-99
Week 15: Days 100-106
Week 16: Days 107-113